


Forgetful

by th_wryter



Category: One Piece
Genre: Amnesia?, Angst, Gen, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Mystery, Nakamaship, Nightmares, Post-Time Skip, Roronoa Zoro-centric, Unreliable Narrator, Whump!Zoro, Zoro is lost in every sense of the word, and other things that may or may not actually be there, anxiety for everyone, canon typical violence and cursing because sanji is in this fic, there's some fluff too, zoro is a dumbass but we love him anyways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 32,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25891243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/th_wryter/pseuds/th_wryter
Summary: Something is very wrong with Zoro. Or everyone else.Whatever it is, it keeps getting worse.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Roronoa Zoro, Roronoa Zoro & Tony Tony Chopper, Roronoa Zoro & Vinsmoke Sanji, Zoro & the crew basically
Comments: 259
Kudos: 334





	1. onigiri

**Author's Note:**

> .. this fic may or may not be inspired by No Time To Crank The Sun by VIKAN 
> 
> Any kind of feedback is greatly appreciated! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro's eye hurts, Sanji makes Onigiri and Luffy really wants to eat them.

Zoro sighs tiredly. 

His scarred eye _hurts._ That’s fucking odd. He hasn’t felt his left eye.. not since he lost it. 

He grimaces at the thought. _No need to go down that lane._

Instead, he stretches, yawns, and blinks the sleep out of his good eye. 

His body is propped comfortably against Sunny’s main mast, the sun above shines warm on his skin, on his face, _on his eye_ \- He frowns, slightly taken aback, shakes his head and focuses on the sound of gentle waves crashing against the ship’s hull. 

It’s somehow quiet enough on board of the Straw Hats' ship to hear even that faint noise- it doesn’t last long though, because soon enough a door is slammed open and Luffy’s loud, cheery voice echoes through the entire ship. 

“Oi, ZORO!” 

The swordsman tilts his head towards the galley and cracks his eye open again. “Huh?” 

“Why are you still sleeping? Sanji said if you don’t come eat now I get your lunch!” 

A moony smile spreads across the captain’s face. 

Zoro scoffs. _As if the cook would actually do that. But sure, fine._

He doesn’t really feel like pointing that out to Luffy, who seems to be already drooling at the thought of a second lunch. He squints at the mid-day sun instead.

  
“Jeez, lunch time already?”

At least that explains why the deck is, _was_ \- he corrects himself - so quiet. 

Luffy laughs at him. “You’re acting funny, Zoro! Sanji called you like, fifty times already.” 

Zoro gets up. _There’s no way the shit cook called him for lunch - he would have heard. Definitely._

He wouldn't be able to miss any shouting on their ship, especially not the cook’s annoying voice. He may ignore the crew’s yelling at times _\- you kinda had to, if you wanted to stay sane with their crew -_ but there’s no way he would just ..not notice. He spent two _excruciating_ years training his observation haki.. So how-?

It’ll have to wait. 

He’ll train it harder, make sure it doesn’t slip up anymore, even when they’ve had a rare, entirely somewhat-peaceful week. 

As for now Luffy is standing in front of him, curious look on his face, while Zoro dusts off his clothes, even though they’re clean, and even though he doesn’t care if they aren't. 

“You’re exaggerating.” Zoro states after a while. 

Luffy just shrugs, trademark grin on his face. 

“So… Can I have your lunch?”

“No.” 

His captain looks _absolutely_ dejected. 

“I’m already following you to the kitchen! _What the hell did you expect??"_

Luffy grumbles something.

Zoro rolls his eyes and makes a mental note to punch Sanji later for letting their ship’s bottomless pit believe he actually stood a chance of getting Zoro’s share. 

When they enter the almost empty galley, Luffy has already forgotten about Zoro’s refusal and tries to snatch the last portion from Sanji’s hands. 

The cook is quick to give their captain a kick to the head. 

“Idiot! I didn’t say you could have it yet! Besides, moss-head is right behind you!”

Luffy groans and stretches his hands out towards the plate. 

“But Sanji-”, he whines, “..I want meaaaat-”

Sanji wordlessly kicks him out of the galley, before turning to his next victim.

“And you, idiot marimo!”

He’s fuming. Zoro has to suppress a grin.

“Don’t think I have the time to call for you until you’re ready to quit your damn snoring!”

“I didn’t ask you to!” 

“You better respect everyone’s time schedule, shitty mold-brain! Have some fucking manners!” 

Zoro grabs Wado. 

“What the fuck, swirly brow, I’ll eat it cold, calm down! Besides, the others are already gone, so what’s the big deal?! It’s not like anyone was waiting on me!” 

Sanji’s eyes flare dangerously as his voice grows louder. It makes Zoro’s head ache.

“I should have given Luffy your food, you selfish bastard! But unlike _you_ , I’m not a fucking prick! So instead you’re going to do the dishes today!”

For a split moment Zoro considers fighting the cook on the matter. 

He really didn’t mind skipping one meal, but he still appreciated the gesture and if Sanji wanted the dishes done in exchange.. _alright, just.. stop yelling.. It’s too loud._

When Zoro doesn’t retort, Sanji looks surprised _._

“Jeez, cook, okay.” The swordman grumbles. “Wipe that dumb expression off your face.” 

  
Sanji eyes him suspiciously. Then hands him the plate. 

It’s some type of meat with Onigiri on the side and Zoro can’t believe his eyes. They’re his favorite but the cook rarely makes them - they’re not part of his usual, dainty (but _delicious_ ) cuisine. 

Zoro looks thoughtfully at the plate. _Huh._

  
Are those _apology-Onigiri_? Or _thank-you-Onigiri_? _Congrats-on-something-Onigiri_? 

The cook doesn’t do _“just-Onigiri-for-the-sake-of-Onigiri”_ \- Onigiri. Not for him. 

That’d be like Zoro walking up to him and just handing him.. a barrel of aqua laguna salt. Or whatever cooks like. It’s not like he’s an expert on the matter. 

Zoro frowns and forces himself to think. _What would warrant Onigiri?_

Apparently Sanji notices. “Speaking of dumb faces.. What’s wrong with yours? You wanna complain or something!? That’s all I could salvage from Luffy and if **_you_ ** had gotten to lunch _**on time** _ there’d be more left!”

Zoro shakes his head silently, but doesn’t bother to elaborate. 

The cook’s about to add something, probably an insult, judging by the way his face reddens- 

“Thanks.” Zoro says, almost reluctantly, still not sure what he did to deserve Onigiri today, and sits down. 

The words get stuck in Sanji’s throat as Zoro begins to dig into the rice balls. They’re still hot. 

“Yea, yea, whatever, marimo.” Sanji waves his hand and slides towards the door. 

Zoro doesn’t lift his glance from his plate, not even for a second, until he’s finished. 

He’s glad they woke him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (up next: "booze")
> 
> (also: more angst and confusion)


	2. booze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami and Robin are just chilling, Sanji is weird, Zoro isn't in the mood to train, Chopper gets some extra dessert and Sunny has seen better days.

The weather is nice today, in a way that makes it easy to forget the Grand Line’s impossible storms that appear out of thin air. The mood on deck is bright.

Chopper and Robin are reading their books next to each other, while Brook plays one of his many instruments and Nami enjoys the sun. 

It’s too hot to exercise right now, so Zoro decides to push his usual afternoon training back by a few hours and enjoy his crew’s company instead. He finds a shadowy spot on the ship’s lawn and rests his eyes-

The background noises are comforting. Rustling paper, quiet chatting, soft tunes and odd but familiar laughing.

Minutes - maybe even an hour or two - pass without disturbance. 

The mood instantly shifts when Sanji walks out of the galley. 

Zoro groggily cracks his eye open, to see what’s wrong. There’s nothing really interesting to see, just the cook carrying a tray with colorful drinks and cold dessert, looking like someone just spat into his soup. Until he sees Nami and Robin - _both barely clothed in an attempt to cool down and/or tan_ \- which, as usual, turns him into a braindead pervert. 

Groaning, Zoro closes his eye again. _How do they manage not to punch Sanji all the time?_

“ _For you mellorine~_ ”, he hears the cooks annoying voice purr towards Nami, most likely. “ _I made it with extra loveee~”_

Nami says something, but Zoro can’t be bothered to listen to their back and forth, so by the time Sanji approaches him, he isn’t paying attention anymore. 

An unexpected kick strikes his side and he jolts up to see the cook standing in front of him, only one green drink and dessert left on his tray. The kick hurt, _what the fuck did Sanji use all that force for?_ But Zoro knows better than to say anything along those lines, so his hand wanders to his katana instead. 

“ _What the fuck_ , shit cook?”

“What did you just call me, mossball!?”

_Ha._ The corners of Zoro’s mouth slightly curl upwards. "What, all that nosebleeding give you dementia or something?”

The cook growls at that and places the tray safely aside. Zoro expects him to strike any moment now. He’s looking forward to it. 

It’s no longer as hot, thanks to a cool breeze, and Zoro is itching to exercise. 

The cooks eyes meet his determined one, not longer than a split second, and the mood shifts again. 

Sanji is being _weird,_ Zoro thinks, when the cook doesn’t immediately throw a tirade of insults at him. He’s not sure whether it’s a good or bad kind of weird. 

Zoro reconsiders. More like an okay or a dangerous weird. There is no good kind of weird with Sanji. 

And then the blonde shoves his hands into his pockets and curses. 

“Stupid marimo.”

He isn’t used to Sanji backing away from a fight - _that’s weird_. What is happening? Before he can think of something to say, Sanji has already turned on his heels, walking back towards the women. 

He eyes their cook suspiciously, _just to unnerve him for good measure_ \- Sanji’ll feel the stare, no doubt. Then he grabs the drink - green, how original, _ha fucking ha -_ and dessert and sits back down in a crosslegged position. The drink is good, not too sugary, some refreshing lime pieces floating around, but the dessert, although good as well, is too sugary for his liking. 

Chopper seems to have noticed a sugary treat not being fully appreciated, even though he’s still reading, because he keeps shooting hopeful glances at it. _Not at all subtle_ , Zoro smiles. 

The dessert soon finds it way towards Chopper, who looks at Zoro with big eyes and asks “ _Are you sure? Thank you! Are you really sure?”_ about a hundred times until the swordsman chuckles and explains and Chopper finally, _happily_ , accepts the sweet. 

After finishing the dessert - _tiramisu,_ the reindeer says - Chopper turns his attention back to Zoro, who’s still sipping on his drink. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink something that slow.”

“Hm. Guess I just like sake more than this fizzy water. It barely even tastes like alcohol.”

“I don’t think it’s supposed to-”, Chopper helpfully offers and takes a sip from his own red drink. “Besides you shouldn’t be drinking yet, anyways.” 

The last sentence manages to catch Zoro off-guard. _What does that even mean?_ He’s not injured, not on painkillers - _rarely is, much to the doctor’s dismay -_ What other reason could there be? He doesn’t remember anyone telling him about something like that, doesn’t recall anyone saying something when he stole a bottle of sake last night. 

The cook, as dumb as he may be sometimes, always notices missing sake and always picks a fight about it. So either he hasn’t noticed yet or the cook’s attitude about stealing food has radically changed over night. Both possibilities were _highly_ unlikely.

He almost asks Chopper what he meant by _you shouldn’t be drinking yet_ , but the little reindeer is already looking at him worriedly for being silent so he tells himself that the doctor had been talking about the time. _Although it’s already late afternoon and it wouldn’t be unusual for him to have a drink now,_ Zoro thinks, but lets it go anyways. 

  
Chopper seems to take the continuous silence as reluctant acceptance, because the worry melts from his face and he returns his attention to his medical books.

Zoro wonders for a moment if he maybe misheard their doctor, but he’s heard that phrase far too many times already so there’s no mistaking. Chopper had said it so casually, as though Zoro already knew, already accepted, that he shouldn’t be drinking - unless, of course, it had only been a simple remark about the daytime. 

There’s no way to tell, not without actually asking, but it doesn’t matter anyways, because it won’t keep him from drinking.

He relaxes, after reaching that conclusion, and lets his gaze wander across Sunny’s deck.

She could use some love, he notes, a little surprised, the previous conversation with Chopper slipping from his mind. Her rigging is partly torn, seaweed clings to her heavy anchor and a huge gash rips through her wooden railing. 

_Isn’t adamswood supposed to be really robust?_

Maybe Franky didn’t use that type of wood for the railing. _No,_ he immediately thinks, _Franky doesn’t do half-assed things._

Speaking of, their cyborg-shipwright is currently having a serious talk with Luffy next to Sunny’s lion figurehead. He can only see Franky’s back and the more distinct features of Luffy’s face, his expression covered by his strawhat. Franky is not as flashy and loud as usual - _there hasn’t been a single “SUPER~!” yelled yet_ \- and Luffy actually seems to be paying attention to whatever their shipwright is saying - _based on the lack of outstretched arms and bouncing around -_ so it’s gotta be important. 

It’s probably about Sunny, and the state she’s in. 

  
Zoro would not be surprised if some of the damages were accidentally inflicted by their captain himself. He is pretty untameable, after all, and Usopp and him are always running around deck like maniacs. Things break, with a crew like theirs. 

Although he can’t really picture Usopp being involved with the damages. He loves Sunny just like he loved Merry, _maybe a little differently, but just as much_ \- and he wouldn’t do something that could hurt her. Not even on accident, because Usopp was - _exhaustingly_ \- always aware of how things could go wrong in a million different ways. 

So yeah, probably just Luffy, then, which explains why their captain is the only one getting a serious talking-to.

He can’t know for sure, not from where he’s sitting at least (and not without intruding) and he’s really not in the mood to get up. His two crewmates are standing too far away for him to really hear what they’re saying - and sure he could listen in if he wanted to, but it seems like a private conversation and it’s none of his business anyways. 

Privacy is a frail good on any ship - even more so on theirs. 

After joining Luffy he quickly got used to always having someone loud around to the point of expecting and missing that distinct lack of peace and privacy, which made those two years of training in Mihawk’s vast castle almost unbearingly lonely. 

Still, he appreciates those rare few moments of silence and he doesn’t need to be involved in everything his nakama were up to. They are already intertwined enough as it is. 

Besides, there’s nothing to worry about.

Franky will take care of Sunny and Luffy will take care of the crew and their dreams. And so will he- They’re looking after one another _because that’s what they do._   
  
All of them can handle themselves on their own: _fighting’s a whole lot more fun though when you know your crew has your back._

At that, his eye subconsciously wanders across deck again, where Nosebleed-kun is, still, prancing around the female portion of the crew. 

Now that he isn’t arguing with the cook, he is able to get a closer look.

Sanji _is_ looking a little paler than usual. His hair is annoyingly shiny, almost enough so to distract from the dark circle beneath his unhidden eye. Stupid curly-brow doesn’t seem to sleep enough. 

That could put him, and those of their crew who depend on him during a fight, at risk.

Now that Zoro is paying attention, he also notices that the cook’s movements are.. _off._

They’re just a tad too slow and plump. Barely noticable, but enough for something to be wrong. 

Especially Sanji’s left leg is out of balance. It’s too slow. He doesn’t shift all of his weight on it, hadn’t kicked Zoro with it. 

Maybe that’s why he’s been hesitant about starting a fight earlier. The idiot got himself injured and - _uncharacteristically, Zoro admits_ \- refuses to see Chopper. _Dumbass_. 

Their last proper fight against marines must’ve been weeks ago. There’s no way the cook could limp around ship for weeks without anyone noticing, mainly because Chopper, unfortunately, could literally smell blood ( _and any other type of injury, probably_ ). 

So it must have just happened - or their doctor already treated the cook and he’s just being subtly dramatic in hopes of getting a little extra special female attention. 

Zoro snorts at the thought. 

Hopeful fool. Nami wouldn’t care - _smart devil that she is_ \- and Robin would surely find it amusing, somehow, like she always does. 

Since logic and reason are lost on the cook, Zoro can’t completely outrule the possibility. 

So he pushes the cook’s weirdness from his mind. Or he will, he tells himself, if the cook can prove that he can still handle himself in a fight. He’s still _itching_ for a fight anyways. 


	3. nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swordsmen don't need to worry about nightmares. And this was nothing more than a nightmare.

_ Zoro jolts awake.  _

_ “Cyclone ahead!”  _ Nami yells from afar, voice sounding muffled.  _ “Franky, prepare a Coup de Burst!” _

He’s up on his feet within seconds, eye darting around. Ignores the dizziness that washes over him. 

Their navigator, as always, is correct. Dark clouds have begun to gather on the horizon, while the sea below the Thousand Sunny swirls dangerously. The cyclone hasn’t fully formed yet, apparently, but knowing the damned weather it could abruptly materialze right in front of them at any moment. 

A gentle breeze ruffles Zoro’s green hair.

_ “-Everyone, weather the ship!” _

Chopper - in human point - is already running below deck, presumably sent to double check and fasten the lashings if needed, while Robin and Brook are busying themselves with the hatches. Usopp is manning the helm, head turned in order to hear the Nami’s instructions, carefully readjusting his steering accordingly. Their captain is standing next to Nami, one hand gripping his strawhat, content grin plastered across his face, while Nami keeps barking commands and worriedly eyeing the clouds. 

_ “Sanji! Zoro! Reef the sails!” _

Neither protests. There isn’t any time to waste. 

It’s almost a competition to see who’s up the rigging faster -  _ Zoro’s way ahead -  _ until the clouds break and rain begins drizzling onto their faces. Almost three and a half meters above deck, where the two are currently hanging onto the ratlines, the wind tugs at them with  _ a lot  _ more fervor. It’s hard not to lose footing. 

Nami’s faint voice sounds a lot more urgent. “ _ \---!” _

Zoro can’t hear what she’s saying. The wind carries her words miles away before they’re even close to reaching her crewmates’ ears. 

By the looks of it, Sanji hasn’t even noticed that Nami said anything at all. He’s still frantically fiddling with the knots on his side of the rigging. His blonde hair is heavy with rain and stays glued to his head, while his clothes flutter wildly.

  
  


Thunder growls dangerously loud nearby and eight heads turn. 

And then it’s deafeningly silent.

Nami is yelling something again,  _ “San-..”  _

  
  


By the time the storm hits, they’re still hanging in the ratlines, unbelayed, because they _just had to_ hurry. 

_ Maybe they shouldn’t have hurried so much.  _

  
  


Zoro wraps his hands more tightly around the swaying rigging. 

_ “..dow-”  _

All of the sudden, the wind picks up pace. Instead of gently drizzling, the rain now cuts their skin like ferocious little needles. 

Another violent gust of wind tosses them around like toys. The rope between Zoro’s fingers cuts deeply into his skin, tearing small bits of flesh out. He curses, but keeps his fingers wrapped tightly around the ratlines. 

_ He’s bleeding all over the rigging _ , Zoro notices dully, and registers someone screaming below him. 

His feet are just barely not slipping.  _ If he lets go of the rope -  _

A bolt of lightning strikes through the sky and slams into the sea,  _ way too close to Sunny-  _

It’s accompanied by a  _ head-splitting  _ bang and glaring light  _ so damn bright _ that Zoro is completely blinded for over half a minute. 

If Zoro weren’t already familiar with the sensation, it might have thrown him off, maybe enough so for him to let go of the rigging- 

His ears are still ringing by the time the brightness fades from his vision. He can feel his good eye twitching, struggling to adjust - 

Black spots dance across deck. 

Zoro blinks, rapidly,  _ not letting go off the rigging _ , while violent waves quietly crash into Sunny. 

Everything sounds muted. 

_ “-urry!!”  _

He can’t locate the voice.  _ Hell,  _ he can’t even identify it. 

His left foot slips from the unsteady rigging, helplessly dangling in the air. 

More weight pulls on his hands.  _ It burns _ , badly.

Zoro clenches his jaw and attempts to focus on his task.  _ Prepare the sail for a Coup de Burst.  _

He’s almost done. _ If only the rigging he stood on could stop thrashing around for one fucking moment..  _ He just needs a few seconds and at least one free hand to finish the job. 

He can’t secure himself one-handedly, though. It hurts plenty already to keep himself up with both of his hands. They’re badly injured - his skin really isn’t sensitive, but the ropes managed to almost  _ shred  _ his hands. They’re holding almost his entire weight now, with one of his feet still dangling in the air - 

They can’t escape the cyclone if he fails to secure the sail.

_ One of his hands has to let go, harden the sail as fast as possible.  _ The other one will be a lot worse off.

It’s a split-second decision. 

He’s not the cook. He’ll live, even if his hands are scarred or worse. 

There are still people shouting below him -  _ his friends _ \- and even though he can’t hear what they’re saying, he can imagine. 

_ They’re waiting.  _

The cyclone is still somewhere on the horizon. He doesn’t need Nami to tell him, that, at it’s current speed it won’t take long until it reaches the Thousand Sunny. 

He needs to hurry. 

He needs to reef the sail.  _ Now _ . 

Zoro exhales and unwinds his right hand from the rigging, searching for  _ that one rope _ . He’s now completely reliant on the strength in his injured left hand to keep him from falling. 

Gravity is pulling on him, gently inviting him to release his grip. Zoro refuses, tightening his fingers instead until his knuckles whiten and already spilled blood drips from deep wounds. 

It flows over his white knuckles, soaks the rope, drips down, towards deck,  _ towards his crew. _

Meters below him someone shrieks. 

He doesn’t pay attention.   
  


Gusts of wind are throwing him around and he can’t hang on much longer. 

He almost bites his tongue. It hurts as much as he thought it would. 

  
_ Just one more knot- _

  
  
  


..

  
  
  


He did it. 

Everything is prepared.

Sanji must be done already, too, because the sail is completely reefed and  _ Coup-de-Burst-ready.  _ There’s a noticeable abscence of blonde hair in the rigging across him.  _ The cook’s probably back on deck already then. That fucker could have helped. _

Not that Zoro’s pride would have allowed it, anyways, but still.

Exhaustion washes over his body, like a giant wave and now Zoro  _ really  _ can’t hold on any longer. 

He still tries to grab the rigging -  _ another lightning strikes nearby and everything is blindingly white again _ \- but his hands  _ hurt  _ and the wind is too strong and now he can’t even see anymore. 

He catches  _ nothing but air  _ between his fingers - and his other hand finally gives in as well. 

_ He’s falling, _ he thinks numbly. 

The impact knocks all air from his lungs. 

His hands are still dully in pain, but now the rest of his body hurts far worse. The grass beneath him is flat and wet, soaking his clothes, but at least it dampened his fall.

_ It’s not like it’s the first time he’s fallen from a height like that. It’ll only take him a second to regain control over his limbs.. _

Voices are rushing towards him, some yelling, some shrieking, others calm and collected- 

Pairs of boots are stomping heavily, making the ground below him shake and his ribs  _ hurt.. _

  
  


Something brown and furry twists it’s body over him and a familiar calm floats through Zoro’s body.

Everything goes silent as he’s blacking out. 

  
  


..

  
  
  


..

  
  
  


..

  
  
  


..

  
  
  
  


When Zoro wakes, his ribs don’t hurt. Nothing does.

It takes the swordsman a while to register his surroundings.

His body is resting against a comfortable surface, left leg sticking out from a loosely draped over blanket, while an horribly sounding orchestra of snores fills the silence. It smells like meat, oil, cigarettes and sweat - a particular combination that Zoro -  _ no matter how tired  _ \- would recognize amongst thousands. 

He’s in the boys’ bunk room, or rather: ~  _ the manly man cave ~  _ as an inner voice that sounds a lot like Usopps, reminds him. Zoro rewards that thought with a tiny, drowsy smile. 

Everyone’s here, sleeping safe and sound -  _ and obnoxiously loud.  _

Somewhere in the back of his mind he remembers the storm. It never really happened, did it?

_ It was just a dream. _

There was no storm. No injuries.

He would have woken in the infirmary otherwise. 

The dream slowly fades from his mind, until he barely remembers dreaming anything in the first place. 

His eyelids are  _ heavy _ . Going back to sleep sounds inviting - he has no idea what time it it, anyways, but it’s still dark and relatively silent, so there’s enough time to sleep. 

The snores easily lull him back to sleep - his body is  _ tired -  _

Swordsmen don’t need to give a second thought about stupid nightmares. 

Familiar exhaustion washes over him and he allows his eye to close, as the snores in the background fade out. 


	4. braindamaged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So you are brain damaged,” Sanji interrupts.

Robin has an eye on him. Not literally _on him,_ and not one of her extra eyes, but she’s watching him from behind her book. She’s looking at him, interest piqued, almost as though he were one of her history cubes - _pone-whatever-she-calls-it_. 

He’s not too worried about it. Their archeologist just does that sometimes. He doesn’t mind it all too much, although he’d rather not be examined like some scientific novelty. 

Robin’s stare can be rather uncomfortable. She doesn’t care for sugarcoating, which Zoro appreciates, but she also doesn’t have a sense for others’ privacy and when to better respect it. Again, not that anyone on this goddamn ship does. 

Lately people are just _there_ a lot more. Unannounced. Staring. 

_Are they that bored?_

Zoro sighs. 

He kind of misses the marines. He could use a proper workout after all, since he still hasn’t managed to get the shit-cook to fight him. 

It’s been fun to see how far he could push it before the cook snapped, for a while, until he realized that when the cook did finally attack his attacks were not as fierce as usual. _The fucker was holding back._

It annoyed the ever living shit out of Zoro; made his swords dance faster when they fought, but Sanji still managed to remain mostly defensive. 

If he didn’t hate talking to the guy about stuff so much he would have brought it up the first time he noticed. In hindsight, he really should have said something. But he was an idiot who had thought he could get Sanji to let be _whatever stupid bullshit_ he was up to. 

Nothing had worked, after all. 

Of course the usual teasing and bickering didn’t. 

Neither did the more.. _colorful_.. insults that Zoro spent an embarrassing amount of time preparing, only for the cook’s dart eyebrow to twitch in rage for a moment, before Sanji regained control and shooed the swordsman away like an annoying child. 

_That only made Zoro more willing to play dirty. He was going to get his fight, sooner or later._

He tried baiting the cook by offending his precious ladies. At least that got a rise out of the guy, _but unfortunately,_ _it also got a rise out of Nami-_

Zoro frowns and rubs his head. There’s still a bump from where she hit him. 

_How the -_

_How does Nami manage to cause him pain with her tiny arms?_

He decides to go with his captain’s approach and chalks it up to Nami’s _mystery_ strength _,_ plenty of anger, probably.

Yeah, so that didn’t work. 

And it might be the reason why Robin’s still eyeing him with unconcealed curiosity.

So it even backfired, just wonderful. 

Zoro was getting a little frustrated with the cook’s behaviour, almost enough to step over the idiot’s food rules - _almost._ Sanji would have his head if he wasted food just to annoy him, or anything else of the sort, and since the usual pervert-cook-proof methods had failed he’d have to resort to something like that. It just didn’t feel right. 

Also, if the cook decided to mess with his swords to get a fight, he’d fucking get one, but it would be their last one. 

Zoro groaned. 

Time for his last trump. 

_Ugh. Was it really time to talk to that bastard?_

  
  
  


Two hours later Zoro manages to corner the cook. 

Sanji is finally by himself, cutting vegetables in the kitchen, his left leg almost completely bandaged up. 

_What does that idiot need the bandages for? Hadn’t he been walking around with this whatever-it-was-injury for days already? Did Chopper finally notice?_

Zoro grins. 

He hopes the cook got the same strict _what-the-hell-zoro-you-need-to-tell-me-when-you’re-injured-_ lecture from Chopper. 

The knife in his hand hits the wooden board beneath with almost obnoxiously loud, frequent _thuds._

_Great,_ Zoro thought. _At least he won’t be able to evade me. Although I’d prefer if he wasn’t holding a knife._

_As if the cook could even fight with that._

_No, correction, as if he would. Sanji values his knives._

A tiny part of him assumes - _knows? -_ that Sanji could cut a bitch if he had to. Bitch obviously only referring to men, the idiot cook didn’t fight women. Zoro wonders why.

  
  
  


“-What do you want, Marimo?” The cook’s voice sounds tired. 

He doesn’t bother turning around to face Zoro. 

“You’re acting weird.”, Zoro states. 

Sanji exhales incredulously. 

“.. _I’m_ the one acting weird!?”

“Yes.”  
  


The knife goes silent as Sanji puts it aside. Zoro relaxes.

“You’re the one who acts like nothing happened.” 

It’s the most confusing accusation Zoro ever had to listen to. 

_“You’re doing it_ again.”

“Am not.”

The cook makes a noise that sounds as frustrated as Zoro feels and wrings his hands. “Why the hell are you like this???”

  
  


“What do you mean?” 

  
  


“Exactly that! You come into my kitchen, trying to _what_? Start another fight? Why will you not let this go?”

  
  


“Why are you avoiding me?” 

  
  


“I’m not avoiding you, mosshead.” 

  
  


“You won’t fight me.” 

  
  


“I’m _trying_ to be nicer to you! But you’re making it really fucking difficult!”

  
  


“I didn’t ask you to be nicer! Do you consider it _nice_ to hold back when you’re fighting me? Who do you think I am?!” 

  
  


“. _.you’re a dumbass, that’s what I fucking think!!_ ”

  
  


“Then fucking fight me, you coward!” 

  
  


Sanji’s long turned around by now. His face is a little less pale than - _earlier_? - when Zoro last saw it. 

He reeks of cigarettes, strong ones. 

Zoro recognizes the small box that the cook is currently pulling out of one of his pockets as his “emergency” pack. Extra strong. 

The blonde curses as he fumbles with the lighter. 

Takes a deep drag. 

And another. 

  
  


Zoro crosses his arms in front of his chest. 

  
  


The cook slowly, almost meditatively, exhales a small cloud of smoke through his nose.

  
  


“That last island fucking sucked, huh?”, he says and gives the swordsman an assessing look. 

Zoro wrinkles his forehead ever so slightly. 

_What had the last island been like? It had been some no-name island (or at least he hadn’t bothered to remember it’s name) with almost ridiculously low troubles._

The beach had been nice, though. Volcanic beaches were rare _\- even on the grandline -_ and the black sand had felt comfortably warm against Zoro’s body when he took a nap. 

_Black sand? Hadn’t there been furrowed cliffs? Annoying gravel?_

_Maybe he was thinking of another island before that._

The town they visited to restock had been boring, too. But the booze had been good and plenty and for once nobody dragged Zoro away from his stool. 

_But maybe it had sucked for Sanji? He hadn’t really seen the cook a lot until they set sail again, so who knew what the cook was talking about._

Zoro uncrosses his arms and offers a slight shrug. “It was okay, I guess.” 

The blonde stares at him in disbelief, like he had just been told that Zoro’s hair wasn’t actually green. 

“You’re fucking with me, right?” 

“What? Sure it was kinda boring..” 

The cook is almost shrieking. “Boring??”

“We barely stayed there for a day or two, calm down.” 

“ _I can’t fucking believe you_. You’re such an ass.”

The cook’s voice is unsettlingly calm, beyond the point of anger. But there’s also.. _hurt?_

_Fuck, didn’t he come here to clear up the situation? What’s with that guy?_

Zoro roughly runs a hand through his own hair. “ _Look- I’m really trying_ _to understand you_ , but I don’t get it! First you make onigiri for _no goddamn reason_ and then you refuse to fight me? And _what the hell_ happ-” 

“So you _are_ brain damaged.” Sanji interrupts, like the ass that he, and not Zoro, is. “Has the moss finally started to grow through your ears?”

Zoro growls something strongly resembling a curse and forgets about the question. The cook and his stupid leg can, _kindly_ , fuck off. He digs his fingernails into his palm, forming a tight fist.

“What was that? I’m trying to thank you and be nice to you and you idiot-”

“I told you I didn’t ask you to be nice to me-” He almost bites his own tongue in frustration. “And what is this thanking bullshit about? _I didn’t do anything_.” 

Zoro’s head is starting to pound. He resists the urge to soothingly tap his fingers against his temples in front of the cook. 

  
  


If he noticed, Sanji has enough self-perseverance to not mention it right now. 

He does argue back, however. “Oh _for fucks sake_ , quit it with that _I-didn’t-do-anything-bullshit._ Is that supposed to be some sort of swordsman codex of honour?”  
  


Zoro’s barely listening anymore. 

  
  


Everything hurts, suddenly. 

  
  


His skull is still pounding like someone _wacked_ him with a hammer - 

His hands are _burning,_ as if someone just poured a generous gulp of alcohol onto _torn up flesh_ -

There’s _no air in his lungs_ , only a _sharp stabbing pain_ between his ribs, but no wet blood.

But there’s something worse.

His _eye_ \- 

_The eye-_

_The scarred one-_

_The one that he lost to Mihawk-_

_It’s pulsing-_

_It hurts-_

_As if it’s going to burst in his skull-_

  
  
  


_Fuck. What the fuck._

  
  
  


_“-Zoro?”_

  
  


Zoro snaps back, sucking _fresh_ air _\- cigarette smoke, as it turns out -_ into his lungs, as if he’d been under water for too long. One of his thumbs absentmindedly wanders to his scarred eye and gently wipes at it, as if removing eye gunk - 

It doesn’t pulse anymore. 

He can breathe normally. 

The pain disappeared as abruptly as it came. 

Zoro blinks -with his good eye, while the other one remains closed and unfeeling - then acknowledges that Sanji is still standing in the kitchen with him. And hopes that the cook won’t say anything. 

The cook is looking at him _weirdly._

_How much did he notice?_


	5. liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not a lie, Zoro tells himself. 
> 
> Because he isn't a liar, Usopp is.

The cook clears his throat. He looks like he’ll explode soon if he doesn’t speak his mind.

“ _-um_.. Zoro..” 

The name lingers between them for a moment, far too personal for Zoro’s liking. They rarely use each other’s first names, only when things are truly calm between them - _they rarely are -_ or when some serious shit is going down. 

  
  


_Kuma flashes in front of his mind-_

  
  


His eye itches again. 

_Shit. Stop it._

  
  


The cook looks slightly taken aback. His hesitation only lasts for a while, but it ends up being long enough.

He’s opening his mouth to say something-

Zoro silently curses his goddamn eye and these stupid headaches that seem to make everyone around him act so _weird._

_  
__Sanji_ , on the other hand, doesn’t get to say anything, thankfully. Not now at least, when Zoro is still feeling _shaken up_ \- for a lack of better words. Roronoa Zoro does not feel _shaken up_. His entire being refuses to be someone who gets _shaken up._ But how else is he supposed to call it? 

Currently a little upset? That’s almost - no, that’s _definitely_ \- worse. 

Roronoa Zoro does not search for the right words either. 

They come naturally to him, and when they don’t, he doesn’t bother to force them out. _Unlike Usopp._

  
  


Behind him the door falls shut.

His head turns. 

Nami is already a few steps in, sunglasses sitting on top of her hair. She carries an empty glass in one hand, a book in the other. 

Her presence alone is enough distraction to allow the swordsman to slip out of the galley without the cook noticing. _Phew. He’ll thank her later. Or maybe just silently. The witch might raise his debt if he actually thanked her-_

Zoro isn’t one to run from a fight, no matter what kind, but he doesn’t feel entirely like himself currently. And he’s not running, just postponing. They’ll finish that conversation later, anytime, just not now. 

He still remembers his _eye._ The pulsing. 

_Did that start first?_

Or was it the headache? The burning in his hands? His ribs? His lungs? 

  
  


Another _pang_ in his head interrupts his self-evaluation.

  
  


_Fucking ow._

  
  


He grits his teeth together. 

  
  


And runs into Usopp. 

Something falls and breaks.

Zoro curses and hisses air between his teeth.

  
  


“Aw, shit, sorry, Zoro! Didn’t see ya there!”

Usopp isn’t looking at him, busying himself picking up something that he dropped on deck during the collision. The deck’s wooden planks beneath their sniper’s latest crafty invention is stained, as if some dark liquid had seeped into it. _Oil?_

Zoro raises an eyebrow. 

The spots look a little too dry. There doesn’t seem to be any liquid dripping from Usopp’s invention either. _What else could that be?_

For the moment, Usopp is still busy scouting the floor for any lost fragments of whatever he’s been crafting. Zoro uses the opportunity to grimace before putting on a brave face and dismissively waving his hand. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” 

The sniper is grinning, likely planning to elaborate _\- without Zoro asking -_ what exactly he accidentally dropped. That is, until he meets Zoro’s eye.

Usopp freezes. 

“..Are you okay, man? Sure I didn’t hurt you just now?” 

Zoro snorts. That’s the absurdest thing he’s ever heard. 

“You _lightweight_? You couldn’t hurt me if you tried.” 

Usopp doesn’t seem quite convinced. 

“Why, the _great Captain Usopp_ could defeat you easily-” His gaze gets stuck on Zoro’s eye. “You’re looking paler than the ghosts I defeated on Thriller Bark!” 

“.. _Perona’s_ _ghosts_?” Zoro makes a disgusted face. “You’re comparing me to _them_?” 

“Yeah. Except you’re.. less cute.” 

Zoro groans.

“You sound just like that pink haired maniac, you know that?”

“... _whhhaaa-_ ”

“That’s spot on, too.”, he says dryly.

Usopp suppresses another - _manly -_ screech and Zoro smiles a little. It’s nice to finally have a conversation that makes some fucking sense.

Even if it’s about Perona. 

_Only having her and Mihawk around for two years-_

His eye twitches again. 

This time Zoro’s hand immediately shoots up to cover it with his palm.

The pulsing sensation fades before it has the chance to really begin hurting. 

Zoro covers the motion up by running his hand over his face, then into his hair and back over his face. 

Usopp stares. 

“ _Jeez_ , stop that.”

"Huh?" 

"Stop staring, will ya?" Zoro snarls, immediately regretting his harsh tone. 

Usopp doesn't shrink into a tiny ball of apologies like he used to. Good. 

But he still averts his gaze. Also good. 

  
  


..

  
  


"The scar hurts sometimes.", Zoro explains after a while, without being asked, because he can feel the question floating around between Usopp's ears. 

_It's not a lie_ , he tells himself. Because he isn't a liar. _Usopp is the liar._

  
  


The sniper just nods, as if understanding and puts the weird, now broken thing he’s still holding aside. 

He pushes his cap - _and a lot of curly hair -_ back to reveal a small scar across his head. 

"Don't tell Franky, but I still have _this baby_ from Water 7-" Usopp is barely whispering. "It's not even a cool story! No offense to the Franky Family, but I should have been able to defeat them _easily.."_

Zoro acknowledges Usopp's confidence with a certain nod. 

"..And unless they've been training like the _legendary mad men_ that they are, I don't think they'd stand a chance against me now. Nobody can take me, _the great_ _Usopp_ , _proud warrior of the sea,_ down now!"

Usopp grins and _it doesn't sound like as much of a lie anymore_ , because it isn't. _Maybe an exaggeration, though._

  
  


"Weren't you planning to talk about scars?"

Usopp's face lights up. 

" _Ah, yes, my dear Zoro-kun."_

Usopp is definitely mocking him. 

Zoro lets it slide. 

Just this once, because he's tired anyways and because he doesn't want to exhaust himself any further. It makes his _eye_ feel _weird and not at all in a good way._

Chopper would probably measure Zoro for fever if he could read his thoughts.

..

  
  


_"-so yeah_ . I guess the weather on the Boin Archipelago was just _not_ doing it for my scars, longterm, and now they, especially that one-” Usopp points at his head. “-hurt whenever it's colder than what they’ve become used to."

Zoro probably missed some unimportant details in the middle but he nods along dutifully and like he knows why Usopp is telling him this. 

“Which sucks because tropical climates are kind of rare-” The sniper grins. “But I would not be the great Sogeking if a hurting scar brought me down!”

The swordsman nods. That’s a sentiment he can get behind. 

Usopp seems to want to say something else. 

“ _What_.” Zoro makes sure not to sound too harsh this time. 

"Does your eye still hurt? I mean, _sometimes_?" 

_Oh. Right. The goddamn eye._

Zoro thinks. 

_Isn’t that what had started the conversation in the first place? Or had Usopp thought he was talking about one of his countless other scars?_

_They all hurt._

And replies somewhat honestly. "Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes." Leaving out parts doesn't count as lying. _Or does it?_

The look Usopp shoots him almost rivals Robin's probing one. 

".. What was _that.. y'know.._ What was _it_ like?" 

Zoro stares at him blankly, not knowing how to respond. Usopp takes it as confusion. 

".. Did it hurt? _Ah, sorry, stupid question - it probably did. Like a lot."_

To be honest, Zoro is a little overwhelmed at Usopp's sudden curiosity. But he also can't listen to the guy stammer on. 

_Did it hurt? Yea. It did. Holy fuck._

_But he doesn't want Usopp's pity._

Zoro shrugs. "It doesn't hurt like that anymore. _It's just a scar now_. I already have a couple of those. I can see just fine."

His eye begins to pulse again - _what is it now_ \- as if trying to expose his lie- 

But he lets it ache. 

It makes his skin crawl but he manages to keep his hands away from his face - one almost _casually_ resting on Wado's hilt, the other, _balled up into a fist,_ hidden in his pocket. 

Usopp doesn't seem entirely satisfied with that response, but thankfully, enough so, that he does not ask further questions. 

What is it with today and all these questions? 

_He's getting tired of it._

Zoro listens to Usopp, who’s smart enough to change the topic, for a while longer, until Sanji calls them for dinner. 

_Great, exactly where he wanted to be. The kitchen, again._

  
  


_He's not even hungry._

His stomach aches in agreement. 

  
  


Still, he follows Usopp back into the kitchen, because if he doesn't show up, it'll look like _he's the one avoiding_ the cook, when really, _it's the other way around._ Zoro isn't anxious, he doesn't feel like that, it's enough for him to watch Usopp be _like that_ \- he just _really_ would have liked a nap between the fight with Sanji and _lunch, no, dinner._

_Fucking grandline sun being confusing._

Nami probably has an explanation for that. He’ll ask her at dinner. Knowing their know-it-all weather witch, he thinks, _not at all fondly,_ she’ll probably tell them without anyone needing to ask. 


	6. sunny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro asks about the sun and people get really upset about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN! 
> 
> SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!! 
> 
> ... 
> 
> 👁️👄👁️

Dinner goes by relatively uneventful. 

Three pairs of eyes are fixed on him, while he's eating, a bit less than usual, even though the cook piles up the rice on Zoro's plate slightly higher than usual. 

And while the three annoying pests - _Sanji, Usopp and Robin -_ watch him more or less slyly, Zoro wonders why the smell of the cook's food makes his stomach churn. 

It's not that Sanji's food is terrible, _the cook is good at what he does,_ but it doesn't _taste_ like _much_ today. _It tastes like absolutely nothing._

He still eats it. Some of it, at least. He can't afford to anger the cook now. He needs a nap first. A couple of hours should make him as good as new. They can have that half-finished conversation then. 

The food feels dry in his mouth. 

He’s uncomfortably aware of his teeth sinking into soft, squishy meat. _That doesn’t feel right._

Zoro slowly puts down his fork- 

And blinks at the plate. 

It’s a regular dish for the straw hat crew. Plenty of meat - seaking, most likely - and a banquet of side dishes. It’s colorful and nicely arrayed. Visually, there’s nothing wrong with today’s dinner.

But it doesn’t _smell_ appetizing at all. 

Zoro scrunches his nose. 

  
  


_Smells like seawater. Blood._

_-and mud?_

  
  


Nobody except him seems to mind. Or even notice. 

Luffy is inhaling ungodly amounts of meat and even Nami and Usopp, who are both super picky when it comes to odd smells, are eating without complaint. 

_The meat seems to be fine._

It doesn’t smell fine though. 

The smell makes him lose his appetite. _Not that he was hungry to begin with._

He shoves the plate away, towards Luffy. 

Sanji looks like he’s about to murder someone. He doesn’t do anything, maybe because he’s busy refilling Robin’s glass or maybe because Luffy has already grabbed everything from Zoro’s plate and swallowed it whole. 

The smell is a lot more bearable, now that it’s not sitting right in front of him anymore.

Zoro takes a sip from his beer. 

  
  


Now’s as good as any to ask about the sun’s odd position. _Why is the sun up like it’s noon?_

  
  


“Oi, Nami.” 

Nami, who’s already finished with dinner, turns her head from her conversation with Robin and Chopper. “Yeah?”

“ _What’s with the sun today?_ ” 

She stares at him blankly. “What do you mean? It’s a hot ball of gas and it’s far away.”

Zoro huffs. “Ha ha.”  
  


Robin and Chopper have stopped their conversation to listen. 

“The sun is acting _weird_ , haven’t you noticed?” 

Across the room Sanji glares at him. The swordsman pays him no attention. 

“How can the sun be acting _weird_?” Nami repeats, almost sarcastic. 

“You’re the weather witch, you tell me!” 

“-What did you just call our beautiful Nami-swan!??”

“Shut it, cook.” 

“WHY YOU-” 

“Sanji-san. It’s okay.”, Nami imtervenes. “So what’s with the sun, Zoro?”

_Great, she’s listening. But why hasn’t she noticed? The sun should be almost setting._

“It’s noon.”, he states. 

“..Yeah?”

_What? What does she mean, “yeah”??_

“..You’re telling me you haven’t noticed anything at all? Are you _dense_?”

Across the table Luffy pauses his vacuum-like consumption of meat to laugh. 

“Coming from you? Oh? Excuse me, are _you_ the navigator?” Nami sounds offended.

“ _Look_ , the sun-” 

“- _Shut up about the damn sun, Marimo!_ ”

Zoro rubs his face and groans. “Okay, nevermind, forget about it, shitty cook.”

“Then stop picking fights with Nami-swan, for fucks sake!”

“I wasn’t-”

Zoro sighs and drops the matter, instead wrapping his hands around his mug, which _does not contain alcohol_ much to the swordsman’s dismay. 

There are now five pests - Sanji, Usopp, Robin, Nami and Chopper - staring at him. _  
  
_

_What’s up with all the goddamn staring-_

_If he had some goddamn booze maybe he could ignore them better; maybe their stares wouldn't make his skin crawl like that.._

Chopper is the first to break the silence. 

“-Did you take your bandages off again??”

_What? What bandages?_

_He isn’t injured._

_That’s it. He’s had enough of everyone talking about stupid things that make no sense._

  
  


He crosses his arms. “No. I didn’t.” 

Chopper throws him an angry look. “Do you think I’m blind?”

“ _-What_? No. I didn’t remove anything.” 

“So your bandages removed _themselves_!?”

  
  


_Why the fuck is everyone so angry with him?_

Zoro groans in frustration. “I didn’t say that-”

“If you don’t give your hands time to heal, you’ll only aggravate your wounds! If they become infected-”

His scarred eye aches again, mocking Chopper’s words. 

_Fucking eye-_

Robin’s gentle voice interrupts Chopper’s fit of anger. Her _real_ hand rests comfortingly on the reindeer’s furry shoulder.   
  


“Doctor-san, I think we should not put too much pressure on Swordman-san. He’s looking rather ghastly.”

_He does not-_

Chopper stops. “Oh no! You’re right, Robin-” 

Something in Zoro’s chest tightens. 

..

  
  


Their doctor’s voice is a lot more gentle and a lot closer. “Can I see your hands, _please_?”

Zoro eventually lets go of his mug and shows his hands, palms facing the ceiling, to Chopper. His hands are perfectly fine. Calloused, yes, and covered in fading white scars, but nothing requiring bandages. 

Brook’s porcelain cup shatters on the floor and hot tea splashes onto his clothes but he doesn’t _move, doesn’t say anything._

Across the table Franky is whispering something into Luffy’s ear. It’s dead quiet after that. 

There’s that serious look in Luffy’s face as he nods along whatever Franky’s saying. He’s paying full attention, like that day on deck, despite the fact that there’s still meat on Luffy’s plate-

The cook is standing in the kitchen, cigarette lit, a strange expression on his face. 

_What the fuck is wrong with everyone?_

Chopper’s hands are trembling against his. 

“-that’s not good..”

  
  


..

  
  


This is a nightmare. It _has_ to be. 

His friends are acting weird, his eye hurts, but his mind is clear. He's fine, really. 

He’s not even injured. _Why are they insisting he is?_

  
  
  


..

  
  


Someone's talking to him. 

Zoro lifts his head, lowers his chopsticks. 

_It's confusing_. 

_He can't hear the voice well enough, can't discern it from the others-_

But although the voices aren't clear enough for him to make out, they're too loud. Why is everyone _yelling gibberish into his ear?_

He can't make sense of their words. 

It makes his head _pound_. 

Zoro twists and turns his head towards the noise, hoping it'll help him at least find out _who's_ talking to him. 

The voice repeats a noise. 

Over and over. 

  
  


Zoro's eye almost drops shut. 

  
  


_"wha-",_ he mumbles disoriented _"'m tired."_

  
  


Another voice repeats the noise. 

  
  


And another. 

  
  


They sound - worried? No, that can't be right. _This is dinner_ , not a boss fight.

  
  


Someone presses a fluffy sleeve against his forehead. 

There's that noise again. And more mumbled nonsense. _Why is nobody talking normally?_

Zoro glances around, but his eye is slower than he'd like. 

It feels heavy. Really heavy. 

  
  


He just wants to take a nap. 

  
  


Someone repeats the noise again before Zoro drifts off, finally recognizing the noise as his own name. 


	7. infirmary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro wakes up in a place he doesn't recognize.

He jolts awake in a bed that isn't his own. His clothes are drenched in sweat and his heart is  _ racing _ . 

He shoots a quick glance through the darkness. Pale moonlight soaks into the room through a small window, allowing him to see the outlines of cabinets, test tubes and a sturdy desk plus spinning chair. 

He doesn't recognize the place. 

_ How did he get here?  _

He shoves a heavy blanket off his body. 

It takes longer than expected. White cloth is wrapped tightly around his palms, restricting his movements. The sight of the bandages stirs something within him, but he can't quite place it. 

He's tempted to rip them off, see what's underneath, but his hands are burning in refusal and he decides he'll take them off later, when they're not hurting so  _ bad  _ anymore. 

For now, there are more pressing matters at hand. 

_ Where is everyone?  _

_ What is this room?  _

No matter how hard he wrecks his brain, he can't seem to reach a conclusion.  _ Nothing makes sense.  _

  
  


His stomach is aching, has been aching for a while, for some reason, and he presses his eyes shut and breathes in deeply a few times trying to will the sick feeling away. 

It does not work. 

  
  


_ Uff.  _

  
  


_ Fresh air _ . He needs some  _ fresh air _ . 

  
  


He swings one leg out of this foreign bed. Barefoot toes make contact with cold wood.

His second leg follows suit. 

  
  


The sounds of someone quietly approaching reach his ear from beyond the closed door. 

  
  


He's barely out of bed, one hand instinctively grabbing at his hip, when the door slowly opens and light fills the entire room. 

He blinks. 

A blue nosed reindeer is standing in the door frame and  _ it's such a familiar sight  _ that he immediately relaxes. 

He's not quite sure why. 

  
  


The reindeer speaks in a high pitched voice.  _ "Zoro _ ! You're _ finally  _ up!" 

..

  
  


A wave of sudden understanding crashes into him and something  _ clicks _ . 

And with the realization of  _ what almost happened  _ comes sheer horror. 

  
  
  
  


_ Chopper. Chopper. Chopper.  _

He silently repeats his crewmates name and it feels like he never even forgot him in the first place.

_ Of course that's Chopper, who else would it be?  _

He wants to blame his short-lived confusion on the darkness, on his headache - but a small part of him knows that’s not explanation enough. He almost didn’t recognize a crewmate, someone he’d die for and that deeply unsettles him. 

_ But then again-  _

He  _ did  _ recognize the guy as soon as he spoke. Chopper felt familiar. Zoro had just been too groggy to  _ name  _ him. Things like that happened. 

Really, the longer he thought about it, it was no different from having a word at the tip of his tongue. 

By the time he manages to rationalize the earlier  _ oops-I-forgot-Chopper’s-name-incident _ , the reindeer in question has already turned the lights on, now standing in front of him.

Before he can say anything, the doctor gently pushes Zoro back to bed. 

"You should be resting,  _ stupid _ ! You gave us quite a scare at lunch." 

  
  


_ Lunch? _

  
  


"Your wounds got infected. Really badly." 

Chopper is hovering above him, shining a small flashlight into his eye and watching his pupil dilate. 

Once he's done, he murmurs something to himself, places  _ his _ instrument on  _ his _ desk and scribbles something down in a medical logbook that Zoro's definitely seen before. 

  
  


..

  
  


Another puzzle piece falls into place. 

  
  


..

  
  


_ Of course.  _

Zoro feels like slapping himself but refrains because it would make him look stupid.

_ He’s in the infirmary. Chopper's infirmary.  _

  
  


_.. _

  
  


The tension melts from Zoro's shoulders. 

  
  


When Chopper returns his full attention to him, he's wearing a stethoscope. 

"I need to check your pulse and breathing. Is that okay?" 

  
  


Normally, Zoro would have protested. Insisted that that _really_ _wasn't necessary._ But Chopper is looking at him with such pleading eyes that he can't bring himself to resist the check-up. 

  
  


He shrugs nonchalantly. "Knock yourself out."

  
  


The doctor looks at him with a slightly puzzled expression, as if he didn't expect this to be that easy, but continues anyways. 

  
  


Chopper's instrument feels almost freezing against his warm skin. Zoro tries his best not to shiver. Thankfully, Chopper seems too focused on his task to question it. 

".. _ definitely _ increased.." 

  
  


He moves the stethoscope and instructs Zoro to take deep breaths. 

  
  


"..but your breathing is fine, so that's a relief!" 

He removes the cold stethoscope from Zoro's chest and, after taking a few notes, proceeds to take his patient's temperature. 

  
  


As soon as the thermometer beeps, Chopper checks the results. And frowns. 

Then the reindeer grows bigger and strong hands replace his hooves. 

  
  


Oh, right, Chopper can do _ that.  _

  
  


The next thing he knows, the back of a furry hand is pressing against his forehead. It feels nice and cool, despite the fur, which is slowly soaking up sweat and turning grossly damp. 

Chopper's frown deepens, but he doesn't say anything, instead scribbles something down so furiously that Zoro wouldn't be surprised if he accidentally ripped the page. 

  
  


Chopper turns small again, while Zoro marvels at how impossibly normal Chopper's transformations - and every other Grand Line weirdness - have become. 

  
  


"I need to have a look at your hands." 

He doesn’t even hesitate, just sticks his hands forward, because there’s something in the doctor’s voice that allows no room for discussions.

Tiny hooves begin to gently unwrap his bandages. Zoro fights the urge to flinch whenever they touch his palm. 

But he bites his tongue and says nothing. 

  
  


With his hands bare and the stained cloth neatly put aside, Zoro manages to catch a glance at his wounds. 

  
  


_ And fucking hell, that's an ugly infection.  _

Both of his hands are an angry type of red and swollen as if he had held them into boiling water for too long. Dark purple rope burns tear through his palms and wrap around his fingers. Where his skin isn’t discolored, it’s covered in blisters. 

His left hand is held together by countless, bulging stitches - some of them are reddended and feel uncomfortably hot. 

The smaller scars, however, have already begun to heal nicely. 

Judging by their healing stage, he’s had these scars for four to five days, maybe more.

But that’s  _ impossible _ . 

His hands were just fine the last time he saw them. 

  
  


Zoro stares dumbfondedly at his hands, as if there’s some big mystery to solve, while Chopper desinfects them and applies salve. 

  
  


Those injuries  **were not** there last time he checked.  **Definitely not** . 

  
  


Besides, as swollen as his hands are right now, he probably would have trouble grabbing his swords properly. And he definitely did not have any problems like that. 

Then again he can’t remember when he last picked up his swords, or even his weights.

  
  
  


His stomach clenches violently at that realization. 

  
  


_ Fuck, fuck, fuck.  _

..

  
  


There really is no way to miss wounds like that,  _ is there? _

  
  


..

  
  
  
  


Chopper is still treating his hands, carefully pulling out a particularly infected thread. 

  
  


"How long did I sleep?" 

The reindeer musters him with barely veiled concern. "About five hours."

Zoro doesn’t know what to make of that.  _ That’s not nearly enough time for a scar like that to appear out of the blue.  _

“Although calling it ‘sleeping’ would make light of the situation. You full on  _ passed out _ in the middle of lunch.”

_ Dinner,  _ Zoro mentally corrects, but doesn’t bother pointing it out. Chopper probably misspoke.

  
  


Another throbbing headache -  _ shit, he still got those? -  _ accompanied by sudden dizziness interrupts his train of thought and he makes a face. 

_ Fucking hell.  _

It’s almost impossible for him to focus on anything but the sharp pain and the black spots threatening to overtake his vision. 

  
  


“-ro?”

  
  


Zoro squints and returns his attention towards Chopper, who’s holding a syringe and definitely  _ isn’t even trying _ to mask his worry.

_ That annoyingly sweet little bastard. _

“Zoro?” Chopper repeats, “I need to re-open one of your stitches. I’m gonna inject some local anesthesia so it doesn’t hurt. That alright with you?”

  
  


_ He doesn’t need Chopper’s drugs. But sure, whatever. Maybe it’ll lessen the burning. _

Zoro grunts begrudgingly.

And tries not to sound too concerned. "What’s wrong with my hands, anyways?" 

Bewilderment spreads across Chopper’s face.  _ “I’ve been telling you _ to take it easy! You should have kept the bandages on for once! I’m honestly surprised you don’t get infections more often-” 

The doctor sighs. “Did you  _ at least _ take the antibiotics I prescribed?”

  
  


_ Oh. Huh. What antibiotics?  _

_ He does recall Chopper saying he shouldn’t drink- _

_ And it’d make sense if he should’ve been taking antibiotics, but he didn’t take any, did he? _

  
  


Zoro’s blank stare seems to tell Chopper everything he needs to know, because when he speaks, his voice is seething with anger. “Dumbass! Listen to your doctor!! You’re not  _ indestructible _ .”

  
  


_ He’s well aware of that. Has been since Sabaody, Thriller Bark, his first encounter with Mihawk.  _

He doesn’t acknowledge it often, but he  _ knows _ . 

Zoro is going to become The World’s Best Swordsman or die trying. 

  
  


His gaze softens. “Don’t worry,  _ I know.” _

  
  


Chopper smiles-

  
  


“But what I meant earlier was: What  _ happened  _ to my hands?”

  
  


The reindeer’s smile freezes.

  
  


“..they didn’t look like  _ that  _ at all..” Somehow Zoro manages to sound certain “..when you checked on them at dinner-” 

_ Why the hell did Sanji allow Chopper to take a look at him in the galley anyways? There should have been snarled protests, dumb arguments about germs and hygiene-  _

“ _ Lunch _ -” Chopper corrects, “And you’re right. They’re already looking a lot better. Cooling your hands made the swelling go down a little and thankfully I managed to get rid of the black discoloration in time, otherwise I would have had to amputate three of your fingers, one of ‘em a thumb-” 

  
Zoro feels the color leaving his face.

  
  


_ Had it been that serious?  _

_  
_ _ There’s no reason to doubt Chopper’s diagnosis. _

_ His ambition had been endangered and he hadn’t even noticed-  _

  
  


“Thanks, Chopper.” Zoro says hoarsely. “But I  _ swear _ , this is the first time I’ve seen these injuries.”

His chest feels uncomfortably tight, his heartbeat far too fast.

  
  
  
  


_ Don’t show it, don’t show it, don’t show it- _

  
  
  
  


He bites the inside of his cheeks.

  
  
  
  


“What’s happening, Chopper? _ What the fuck is going on? _ ”

He can’t surpress the panic in his voice.

  
  
  


_ Too late. _

  
  
  
  
  


The syringe shatters on the floor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (next up: Chopper tries to figure out what's happening and Zoro is lost)


	8. disappearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things keep disappearing right in front of him-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter posted! They seem to be getting a little longer haha 
> 
> Thank you to everyone reading and everyone taking the time to leave a comment, give kudos or bookmark! :) I'm glad you're all enjoying this story so far!

_ “You fell-”,  _ Chopper says quietly, while he’s sweeping glass shards to the side. 

He looks like he’s seen a ghost.

  
  


Zoro wants to ask  _ “When? How? Why? Where?”  _ but the words die in his throat. 

  
  


This doesn’t feel real.  _ How could it be?  _

In what kind of fucked up reality does he not  _ know  _ things anymore? Not  _ see  _ them?

  
  
  


He stares at his hands again, just for a split second, but by the time he lifts his gaze  _ Chopper is fucking gone.  _

  
  


Zoro stares at the empty room in disbelief. 

  
  


_ Chopper had just been there, rumbling through cabinets.  _

  
  


There hadn’t been any clacking hooves, creaking floorboards or doors quietly closing. Somehow, Chopper had managed to leave the room without Zoro noticing, or more accurately, he had  _ vanished  _ into thin air. He would have said something before he left, would have at least finished explaining what happened - because  _ “you fell”  _ really doesn’t tell him anything. 

_ Something’s going on. Has to be.  _

_ A threat? Devil’s Fruit? Attackers? _

Zoro sharpens his senses, preparing himself. He’s about to draw his katana, ready to slice up whatever made Chopper vanish, when he hears muffled voices coming from far beyond the wooden door. He doesn’t even need to hear what they’re talking about to figure out that Chopper’s tiny voice is telling Luffy -  _ who sounds oddly calm and collected  _ \- something important. Apparently. 

  
  


His hands are still slightly hovering over his swords until he realizes what state they’re in. Bandaged up and  _ hurting,  _ barely of use.  _ He could still fight though _ , he tells himself, _ if he had to _ . Chopper may not agree, but he can ignore the pain, he’s had plenty worse before, after all - 

  
  


Nonetheless, it doesn’t seem like there’s a fight brooding. Although he still can’t comprehend  _ how the hell  _ Chopper disappeared on him like that. The fact that their captain is with the doctor calms him a little.

  
  


But there’s something else. 

  
  


Something he doesn’t recognize. 

His observation haki only tells him  _ metal.  _

Until the  _ metal  _ speaks, in an unnaturally loud voice.

_ Another Devil’s Fruit user? _ _  
  
_

Zoro tenses. 

_ Did Luffy drag another weird person on board? Or is this an enemy? Are they responsible for Chopper disappearing on him? _

  
  


He gets out of bed, slides towards the door as quietly as he can and presses an ear against wood. He can’t help but feel a little childish but it’s his duty as unofficial first mate to make sure the crew is alright and that means keeping an eye -  _ or an ear  _ \- on suspicious people. 

And everybody’s suspicious.

At least he can understand what they’re saying now.

  
  


“..not sure what exactly happened..”, Chopper says, “..or even how long it’s been going on already-”

“Come on, you’ve gotta know something!” Luffy almost whines. 

Silence. 

  
  


“I’ve been watching Zoro-bro for a while-”, the unfamiliar voice shamelessly admits. 

It makes Zoro want to throw up and cut the  _ Metal  _ into a thousand tiny pieces, in no particular order.

_ How does he even know his name? And what’s with the friendly act? Who the hell does this weird-metal-thing think he is that he can just stalk him- _

“-and I think it started after the storm.”

  
  


Zoro’s head starts to feel like it’s being drilled into. 

There  _ hadn’t  _ been a storm. Not one worth remembering at least.

_ What is he talking about? Is he lying to the others? _

  
  


_ Oh.  _

_ But he had dreamt of one.  _

  
  


_ But how would that strange tin can know about that?  _

_ Unless-  _

  
  


Zoro grits his teeth. 

  
  


_ Unless it hadn’t been a dream at all.  _

  
  


Luffy’s voice is far too serious. “Yeah. You told me he’d been acting funny, but that’s  _ not funny _ anymore.” 

  
  


“ I told you I meant  _ weird-funny _ , not  _ fun-funny _ .”

  
  


“Then why didn’t you say so in the first place?”

  
“I tried to! You were the one who said:  _ ‘Oh, Zoro is a little weird sometimes, let’s give him some time, he’ll be SUPER normal soon.’ _ ”

“I didn’t say it like that.”, Luffy stubbornly insists.

The Metal Guy curses at him, but surprisingly, Luffy takes no offense. 

  
  


_ Do they know each other?  _

He still doesn’t know what to make of that. The more he thinks about it, the more his head pounds. 

_ How does this stranger fit into the picture? _

  
  


“It doesn’t matter.”, Chopper sighs. “We need to find out what’s wrong with him. I ran some more tests but the results aren’t clear. At this point I can only guess - and that’s not good enough for a treatment.” 

  
  


It’s awkwardly quiet. 

Even Luffy does not say anything, although he might be giving Chopper one of his trademark  _ shut-up-I-trust-you-to-handle-this- _ stares.

  
  


“I did my best to lower his fever and slow his heart rate down a little, but the infection has gotten him bad. It’s likely that the sepsis he contracted caused limited blood circulation to his brain and eventually lead to him fainting-”

  
  


He didn’t understand a word of that, but he got the last part and  _ he does not faint _ . That’s something that little kids with low blood sugar do, not the guy who’ll become The World’s Best Swordsman.

  
  


“ _ Ah _ .” Luffy says, sounding like he actually understood what their doctor said. “So Zoro has Mystery Disease?” 

  
  


Zoro grins despite the situation, because it’s ridiculous how little their captain has changed in some regards.

  
  


Chopper doesn’t sound amused. “ _Normally_ I’d say no, but I _still don’t know_ _what-_ ”

  
  
  


..

  
  
  


His earrings are clinking together softly as Zoro turns his head towards the door. 

He’s no longer pressing himself against the door. It’s not too hard to tell that the voices have vanished. Again. It’s  _ slowly  _ starting to piss him off.

Instead he finds himself sitting on the cold floor next to the infirmary bed, his back leaning against the bed’s frame, knees pulled to his chest.

_ When had he moved? And why is he sitting on the floor? _

Zoro groans in frustration and allows his overheating head to fall between his hands. 

  
  
  
  


“You alright, Marimo?”

Zoro whips his head towards the noise, eyes unintentionally wide and fierce. 

A familiar blonde is standing right in front of him, carefully placing a small bowl on Chopper’s desk. Sanji’s face betrays no emotion. 

  
  


_..Where the hell did he come from? How long has he been here?  _

  
  


The cook must think he’s completely lost it.

If he does, he pities the swordsman enough not to mention it. Which does not make Zoro feel better. He craves normalcy and getting into a fight with Sanji is the most normal thing he can think of, besides his three swords at his hip, Luffy eating impossible amounts of food and Robin’s dark comments.

“You didn't eat at lunch.”, Sanji says instead, his voice remaining casually factual. 

  
  


_ ‘Dinner’ _ , Zoro silently corrects. 

  
  


"'m not hungry."

"I don't care. You're eating."

  
  


He doesn’t feel like eating. He’s not hungry and his stomach still  _ aches _ .

Why is the stupid cook acting like his  _ goddamn  _ mother?

  
  


“ _ Fuck off. _ And stop treating me like I’m dying.”

  
  


Sanji doesn’t get to retort.

  
  
  
  


_.. _

  
  
  
  


He’s surrounded by tall trees.  _ Alone _ .

_ Where the fuck is Sanji? Did he vanish?  _

_ And where’s the ship? The infirmary?  _

_ How-? How did he get here? _

  
  
  
  


He’s overwhelmed by the sudden persistent stench of  _ blood  _ and  _ dirt _ and-  _ fuck, he’s nauseous. _

The trees are spinning and shrinking until they’re barely thorny bushes. Zoro makes a faint, surprised noise. He feels dizzy and disorientated -  _ that’s not supposed to be happening, is it? Fucking Grandline.  _

_ Or whatever the fuck is responsible for his crewmates disappearing on him mid-conversation. He really doesn't know what to blame all these weird things on anymore.  _

_ What is he supposed to do if whatever this is is his fault? If it’s not the Grandline, but his head? If he’s going craz- _

His head is pulsing and aching as if someone had hit him with an actual five-ton-hammer, not just the fake ones Usopp used to scare people with. He stumbles because  _ everything is still fucking spinning, what the actual fuck- _

When his legs eventually betray him, his fall feels surreal. 

It’s as if he’s floating, downwards, fast, for what feels like an hour, or maybe just a second. By the time he hits the ground, he can’t remember how he got there. 

He's hit by some freaky sense of déjá-vu, all of a sudden, but he can’t tell  _ what causes the feeling _ . The only thing he knows is that this exact moment is  _ familiar, _ like it’s happened before.

He’s going  _ somewhere _ , doing something  _ important _ . He has to be quick,  _ hurry _ , before it’s  _ too late-  _

_ Before it’s too late for what?  _

  
  


And just like that the déjá-vu ends and Zoro is as lost as before, somewhere he definitely didn't  _ go _ on his own. Somewhere he just  _ appeared at.  _

_ Teleportation? _

_ Maybe the Metal Guy had something to do with this? But why? And where was everyone else?  _

He could only hope that they were alright. Given that he had  _ no idea _ where he was, how he got here or how to get back, he couldn't help them if something happened. 

_ Maybe that's what the Metal Guy wanted?  _

  
  


Zoro’s gaze hardens. _He has to get up._ _Now._

He can't leave the crew alone. They are capable, of course, but who knew what the stranger could do? If he could teleport Zoro off the ship -  _ almost like Kuma -  _ who knew if he hadn't done that to the others already as well? 

Fear takes hold of Zoro. 

_ If this guy was anything like Kuma-  _

_ The crew was in danger. Luffy was in danger.  _

  
  
  
  
  


Soggy mud fills his palms as he claws his hands into the ground, in order to push himself onto his knees, and then, hopefully, back on his feet. There’s nothing to grab onto, nothing he can use to pull himself up with, but he can’t give up. His body feels as if it’s been filled with lead, but he has no time to waste. He has somewhere to be, and  _ fast _ . 

  
  


With an apologetic look he unhooks one of the swords dangling from his side. It’s sheath is white and pretty and he recognizes it before he even sees it. 

_ Wado _ wouldn’t mind helping him get up - the other one,  _ Kitetsu _ , he smiles grimly, would kill a lesser man for that kind of abuse. But Wado, strong and understanding, allows him to place her white sheath into the mud -  _ his own heart twinges at that -  _ and drag his body upwards. He remains propped onto Wado, catching his breath, until he can see properly again  _ and the spinning finally stops. _

His head, instead of painfully throbbing, now feels as though it’s been wrapped in layers and layers of candy cotton.

He shrugs it off. He has _somewhere to be_. An _unspoken_ _promise to keep_. 

He gives himself one last moment to inhale and exhale deeply, to  _ refocus _ , before pulling Wado from the mud and wiping the dirt into his clothing. If he hadn't gotten rid of it now, it would have been almost impossible to clean later. 

Wado may be forgiving, but Zoro is not. 

_ Not when it comes to himself.  _


	9. blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Water is blue and so is the stranger's hair. Nami doesn't seem to mind either.
> 
> Or: Zoro is sick of feeling blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone who's still following this story! <3 Things are about to reach their peak :)
> 
> (also, this chapter has exactly 2020 words and I feel like that really says more than any summary ever could)

The forest has _disappeared_. Like Sanji and Chopper did.

  
  


Its muddy smell still lingers in the air, so persistent it almost makes him want to retch-

  
  


_What happened to the forest?_

_He understands how a person might disappear-_

_But an entire eco-system?_

  
There’s nothing but darkness surrounding him now.

A terrifying thought creeps through his mind. _H-Has he gone blind? He can still smell the forest, but he can’t see it-_

  
  


He closes his eye _once_ , _twice_ , as if the forest would reappear if he _just tries hard enough._ It doesn’t. Of course it doesn’t. 

Zoro grimaces. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

_What had he been expecting?_

  
  


The forest stays gone, and the longer it does, the harder it becomes to remember what it had looked like in the first place. It fades from his mind as if it had never been there at all.

Nothing but an unsettling dream, an unfortunately realistic nightmare- 

Except he doesn’t remember falling asleep. And he could have _s_ _worn_ on his life that he’d actually been in a forest.

  
  


_What kind of forest shrinks? And spins?_

  
  


Had it really been nothing but a nightmare? Or something worse? 

_If he’s not in a forest, if he maybe never was.. where is he now?_

  
  
  


Zoro’s standing upright in the dark, still using Wado as a makeshift crutch. Wado’s sheath isn’t muddy, _maybe because there isn’t any dirt beneath his bare feet, just soft grass-_

  
  


The darkness above him, around him, _within him-_

..is just another night. 

  
  


If he strains his eye hard enough he’s able to make out a few lonely lights above, barely veiled by fog. 

His other eye _itches_ in its socket, begging to be opened, even though Zoro _can’t-_

  
  


Tall waves are crashing over his head, throwing him around, until he’s deep below the surface, where it’s too dark to see. He can’t tell where up and down is anymore and _he’s running out of air-_

_Water presses against his ribcages, forces air to bubble out of his lungs-_

_His head hurts from all the pressure, from all the spinning and being twirled around._

_He can’t breathe._

_There’s water everywhere._

  
  
  


And then there isn’t.

The water is gone and all that’s left is cold air cutting into his skin. 

There’s plenty of air, but none of it makes its way to his lungs. Zoro finds himself taking quick and shallow breaths until he’s lightheaded and dizzy. 

_It feels as though he’s forgotten how to breathe-_

  
  


Zoro aggressively runs his hands through short, green hair; tugs at strands caught between his fingers, just enough to feel the pressure.

  
  


_What a shitty fucking week._

  
  


_He just can’t make sense of any of it._

  
  


_He really wants someone to shift the blame to, preferably the stranger, but it doesn’t add up._

_It makes sense to suspect him: He’s weird, not entirely human and Zoro doesn’t know him-_

_Except, Luffy seems to trust the guy and his captain has some weird, sixth sense for people, after all. There’s no need to question Luffy’s decisions, not when it comes to important things like who to allow on board, but it won’t hurt to stay on guard._

_Not like that will be easy, considering how things and people just vanish from his sight. How is he supposed to protect anyone like that?_

  
  
  


Zoro turns his head slightly, adjusting himself to hear better, because he _could’ve sworn he heard something-_

For a second he almost thought he’d just imagined the noise, but then a door behind him gently closes. Light feet tread closer, familiar and not in any rush. He’d recognize the faint _klack klack_ of Nami’s heels hitting Sunny’s planks anytime.

The dizziness slowly vaporizes, his muscles relax and air flows into his lungs once more. _This is familiar, he_ _knows Nami,_ _knows where he is-_

He can let his guard down a little. Can _breathe_ again.

The noise fades, as Nami steps on the lawn and keeps approaching. 

He gives her the courtesy of turning around to face her. 

  
  
  


Nami’s orange hair is messily balled up on top of her head, most strands held together by a hair tie, while others are standing off or hanging into her face. She looks weirdly unkempt. 

  
  


“ _There_ you are!”

  
  


Zoro watches Nami light up. 

  
  


“Seriously, my hair is gonna turn grey soon if you keep disappearing from the infirmary-”

  
  


He can’t help but be taken a back at her words. _He_ is not the one who keeps disappearing!

  
  


“I ought to increase your debt by five percent for stressing me! And if you add the cost of having to dye my hair to that..”

  
  


Her casual conversation about _debt_ , _percentages_ and _hair_ feels forced. Zoro can’t exactly pinpoint it but there’s something about Nami that’s bothering him tonight. 

He doesn’t find it within himself to care right now. He needs some goddamn _answers_ before digging for more questions. So he simply nods along as Nami rambles on, knowing she won’t actually raise _anything,_ she just needs to talk about something that’s considered _safe_ and normal _._

He’s seen her do it before, calming herself by calculating imaginary sums. 

  
Nami is weird like that. 

  
  


When she stops to inhale, he lets himself flop to the ground. She sits down next to him. 

  
  


_“..Are you okay?”_ The worry in Nami’s voice sounds oddly sincere.

  
  


_It’s a dumb question, really, but she means well. Of course he’s not._ _Nothing makes any fucking sense. How can he even begin to explain? Without being deemed unfit to leave the infirmary until further notice?_

_The way he is right now.. he’s absolutely useless to his crew, to his captain._

The realization stings.

  
  


Zoro doesn’t care for lying, although he usually doesn’t mind grunting _I’m fine,_ when Chopper insists he’s not. He doesn’t care to talk to Nami, of all people, about this either, doesn’t want to burden her.

  
And not because she can’t handle it, but because _he’s supposed to be able to handle things on his own-_

  
  


“I guess.” He mumbles. 

  
  


Nami sighs, but leaves it at that. “What are you doing outside anyways? Chopper imposed bed rest. That means: _stay in bed_.”

“I don’t know.” Zoro says. “I just.. kind of wound up here.”

  
  


It’s the truth. Minus a bit of information but nonetheless the truth. 

  
  


“Look, you don’t have to say anything, but you know, you can tell me. Sanji-kun mentioned you’d been acting.. _weird_.. before he left.”

  
  


_Weird? Sanji had been the one to disappear-_

  
  


Dread settles in Zoro's stomach. 

  
  


He doesn't even bother fighting the accusation. "What did he say exactly?" 

  
  


"That you seemed like you were.. somewhere else."

  
  


_Oh?_

  
  


There's no pressure behind Nami's words. 

" _Zoro_." She repeats and her eyes are piercingly fierce. “How are you?”

It’s still a dumb question, but he doesn’t say that. 

“..I don’t know.”

  
  


Nami tilts her head and frowns at him, concerned. “How can you not know?”

  
  


Zoro scratches his head. “Well.. I’ve been better, I guess.”

  
  


It doesn’t even begin to describe the situation, but the sheer admittance of a problem from Zoro is telling. She flashes him a soft, encouraging smile. 

_He really wants to get rid of the permanent confusion that clouds every fucking thing he does-_

_Maybe she’ll be able to help?_

  
  


He makes a split second decision. 

  
  


“Nami.. I don’t know how I got here.” Zoro runs his fingers over his arm, anxiously tracing lines up and down. “Did we stop at a forest? I feel like I’ve been.. teleported.”

  
  


“ _What_? N-No. You were in the infirmary up until half an hour ago.”

  
  


Zoro keeps his eyes down, staring at the lawn, but not really looking at the grass.

  
  


_What now?_

  
The silence between them is unbearingly uncomfortable. 

  
  


_Does she think he’s crazy?_

_He shouldn’t have said anything. Nami just confirmed what he already feared._

_There hadn’t been a forest._

  
  


_What the fuck does that mean for him?_

  
  


_He’d been there! He had smelt it, felt it, seen it.._

  
  


Zoro really wants to throw himself overboard. 

The mere thought of the water below manages to drown out Nami’s voice completely, until the sound of raging waves drives out the last quiet of the night.

Nami, however, doesn’t seem to notice and the ship stays calm and steady as though nothing had changed.

_Because it hadn’t. So why does it sound like it did?_

  
  


_Great. Fucking awesome._

  
  


Zoro forces himself to focus on his crewmate. Her lips are moving but he can’t hear what she’s saying over the waves- 

_Maybe if he tries harder-_

_If it’s not really there, he should be able to ignore it.._

  
  


_Huh._ _Maybe it’s a side effect of his infection? Which means it should go away eventually.. right?_ He should probably tell Chopper about that, though.

_If that's the case, that means.. The stranger probably has nothing to do with it._

_Luffy trusts the guy, he can tell that much, even if he only overheard a small chunk of their conversation. And if Luffy trusts the guy he can’t be that bad. Which, of course, still doesn’t mean he’ll blindly trust the stranger, but if he’s new to the crew, an ally or just someone Luffy’s dragging along for a couple of weeks it won’t hurt to get to know him._

He can barely hear his own voice as he interrupts Nami. “Who’s the new guy anyways?”

Nami looks confused. It’s kind of funny to Zoro. _He’s the one who should be confused-_

  
  


Suddenly, it’s dead quiet. No more loud waves.

  
Well, Zoro's not one to complain. At least he'll be able to hear her answer now.

“What new guy?”  
  


_Has she not met him yet?_

  
  


“I don’t know his name. But he’s obnoxiously loud and made from metal-”

  
  


“..you mean there’s someone like that besides Franky?” Nami grins as if she just made the funniest joke ever, but her voice betrays her. She's humoring him. 

  
  


Zoro’s head aches trying to remember whether he knows someone by that name. Maybe someone they met islands ago? The name sounds familiar enough. But it doesn’t click- 

“Franky?” 

Nami squeezes his arm tightly. “You’re not kidding, are you?” 

  
  


Zoro shakes his head slowly. 

  
  


“Franky the shipwright? Amazing at what he does?” 

_Doesn’t ring a bell._ Nami’s beginning to sound a little upset.

“Huge perv? Body of steel, nerves.. not so much?”

_Is he supposed to know him?_

“Blue hair? Met him at Water 7?”

  
  
  
  


_Right. Aqua Laguna._

_He’d rather forget the feeling of being stuck in a chimney for hours-_

  
  


“Water 7-” Zoro hums and watches as Nami radiates.. hope? 

“What about it? There was a lot going on back then, I can’t remember every single shipwright we met..”

  
  


Something in Nami shatters. Her comforting grip on his arm loosens and she looks absolutely devastated for a moment - on the verge of tears, even.

_Why would talking about some shipwright make Nami cry? What if he-_

  
  


Zoro stares her down with burning intensity that is not directed at Nami herself. “..he hurt you?” 

_He'll break the guy-_

  
  


Nami laughs forcedly. “Uh. No. He helped us out a lot, actually.” 

“Huh. Well, sorry, I don’t know him.”

  
  


Nami lets go of him and throws him one of her _cat burglar_ smiles. Her lips stretch too wide and the happiness doesn’t reach her eyes. It’s a picture book fake smile. Maybe because he’s seen it flashed at pliable traders far too often, or because he’s known her before they took down Arlong-

_She’s upset with him. And it’s different somehow, because Nami wouldn’t have hesitated to whack him if he had said something wrong-_

Zoro squints at her. 

She’s like an annoying little sister to him and he _just_ _does not get her._

“That’s okay, forget about it.” She chuckles, but again it seems forced. “It’s not important.”

“It sounds important.” Zoro insists stubbornly, telling himself it’s not because he cares but because he really doesn’t need any more unanswered questions. His head might just explode.

“Don’t worry about it.”

  
  


_Why is she trying to shake him off?_

  
  


“You’re making that kind of difficult.”

  
  


Nami is visibly uncomfortable now. _If she’s struggling with something, why won't she tell him?_

  
  


“Okay, Zoro, just listen..” She runs her palms over her face. “It’s hard to explain. That metal guy is Franky, you know him, he’s crew-”

  
  


“..If you say so. How long has he been here for?”

  
  


Nami seems torn for a second. _Is there something he’s not getting?_

  
  


“Not long.” She flashes him another fake smile and squeezes his arm again. "I'll make sure Luffy introduces you two."

  
  



	10. smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro takes his time going inside. Luffy is the definition of certainty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, wow, wow.. we're finally making some more progress! The chapters are getting a little longer now and we're approaching a major stepping stone. I tried giving Zoro a small break in this chapter, but some unplanned angst slipped in - oops :)) 
> 
> Anyways, thank you to everyone who took the time to leave feedback, comments or kudos! I'm glad you're all still enjoying this story and without your support this story wouldn't be continuing! <3

Nami is gone already, reluctantly leaving Zoro behind after making him promise to go back inside. She’d been murmuring something about going to get Luffy, but neither of them have showed up on deck yet.

He’ll keep his promise -  _ later _ \- but for now he  _ needs to stay _ and soak up the night’s calmth. He isn't in a hurry to get inside and he has a feeling it might be the last moment of peace he’ll get in a while. Something’s looming over him, over Nami, Sanji, Chopper and the stranger- 

They probably feel it too. 

There’s a storm coming and to be honest he’s looking forward to it. He needs this all -  _ whatever the fuck it is _ \- to blow over so that he can get rid of whatever is clouding his brain and return to normalcy.  _ The sky is always clearest after a storm _ , they say. Hopefully they’re right. 

  
  


The grass beneath him is cool but dry despite the fog.  _ Could not have been around for too long, then.  _ It feels soft and inviting; after a brief moment of hesitation Zoro gives in and leans back until he’s comfortably laying down, grass tickling his exposed skin. 

_ It’s nice.  _

_ The weather is just right for once. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right.  _

Above him the fog is beginning to clear out a little, allowing bright stars to shine in their full glory. It's been forever since he last had been able to simply stay in a moment as peaceful as this. Zoro is not foolish enough to think that one good moment marks the end of his bad week but holy shit, it helps to know _he’s still capable_ _of having them-_

Especially when it felt like he hadn’t slept well in days.  _ Hell _ , when had he last taken a nap? 

Now might be a good time. He’s tired,  _ exhausted, _ and the lawn feels so  _ soft _ , so  _ nice..  _ It’s almost like sleeping on Skypeia’s clouds.

  
  


_ Whatever. Nami knows where to find him. If he’s lucky he’s awake and back inside before she starts looking- _

_ But if not, who cares.  _

_ He’s nineteen. He can do as he pleases. For now closing his eye will do.  _

  
  
  


Zoro’s breathing slowly evens out.

  
  
  


..

  
  
  
  


He’s sitting on deck. Back straightened, legs entangled. 

_ Where are his blades? _ He can’t feel their weight on his hips-

  
  


_ Fuck.  _

_ Did he leave them in the infirmary? He really should have ta- _

  
  
  


A bolt of lightning whips through the air, dipping everything in bright light for a second. Before Zoro’s eyes can adjust to the sudden, stark contrasting darkness, loud,  _ cracking  _ thunder almost stops his heart-

  
  


Images assault his mind, loud and persistent enough to make his head hurt. Zoro pinches himself in an attempt to shut them out and fails miserably.

  
  
  


_ Dark clouds. _

  
  


_ Water. Above him, below him, crashing into him- _

_ Drowning him.  _

  
  


_ Rocky shores. _

  
  


_ Wado.  _

_ Covered in mud.  _

  
  


_ Sanji.  _

_ Not smoking for once.  _

  
  
  


The pain is gradually getting more intense. Zoro presses his eye shut to drown it out. 

  
  


The picture of Sanji sitting on a small boulder, his back facing Zoro, remains burned into his skull.

  
  


_ Rocky shores. Black sand.  _

_ Wado. Mud. _

  
  
  


Sanji is there again, sitting next to Zoro, still not paying any attention to him. A _ tiny, tiny _ part of him wants to _ reach out _ , pat the cook’s shoulder reassuringly and _ he does not understand why- _

Before he can dwell on it the cook begins to fade silently, threatening to leave Zoro alone in a long forgotten dream _. He won’t allow it.  _

He grabs onto the blonde, fingers digging into the soft fabric of Sanji’s sleeve and  _ pulls- _

  
  


The cook freezes on the spot and Zoro immediately wants to let go again.  _ Sanji’s not really fading, is he?  _ Regardless he doesn’t let go, unwilling to take his chances. He can’t be alone,  _ not here,  _ where he has no clue where he is or what’s happening because everything is moving so fast-

His fingers dig into Sanji’s arm, not forcefully enough to draw blood but hard enough to scream “ _ stay!”  _ without Zoro having to say or do anything else. The cook seems to understand. 

Zoro exhales audibly. _ He’s staying. Thank god.  _

  
  


Sanji is painfully slow to turn around, as if he’s still waiting on the swordsman to let go. Zoro only slightly loosens his grip. _Giving the cook clingy bruises would be pathetic, anyways._

When the blonde finally faces him, Zoro’s breath hitches -  _ not  _ in a good way  _ \-  _ and he lets go, taking several steps backwards, yet unable to look away.

The cook is dressed in his regular, prissy clothes. His hair covers one half of his face - _Huh._ _Doesn’t he usually wear it on the other side? -_ and his eyebrows look ridiculous. But that’s nothing new either. 

What shakes him to the core are the cook’s eyes.  _ Sanji doesn’t have any fucking eyes- _ No eyeballs .. just black, empty sockets and blonde strands brushing against exposed skull. 

  
  


_ What the fuck, what the fuck, oh my god, what the actual fuck- _

  
  


Zoro forces a little bit of vomit back down his throat. 

  
  


_ This is not real, it can’t be. Absolutely not. There’s no way-  _

  
  


The cook’s eyes are blue. 

_ Blue. Blue. Blue.  _

They aren’t black gaping holes, that’s impossible. This can’t be real. 

  
  


Sanji is still staring at him, or maybe he’s looking elsewhere. He can’t tell -  _ thanks to the huge fucking holes where eyes should be -  _ and he’s not too crazy about finding out either. The cook must have gotten sick of his silence..  _ seriously does he not notice? Is this not actually happening? What the fuck- _

“Hey, Grasshead.”

If he ignores Sanjis lack of eyes and fixes in on his moving lips instead, he can almost pretend everything’s normal. Almost. 

_ Sanji doesn’t have any fucking eyes- _

  
  


“Mossball.”

  
  


_ Shit, get it together. Of course Sanji has eyes. Everyone has eyes.  _

  
  


_.. not everyone? _

  
  
  


“Oi. Earth to Mister Green.” The cook’s annoying voice sounds muffled, as if he’s too far away or as if someone’s holding Zoro’s head underwater. 

“What do you want,  _ eyeless- _ ”

“ _ What- _ ?” Sanji pauses, but doesn’t question it any further. “Says the one-eyed swordsman.”

Zoro ignores it. Faint snoring is coming from somewhere nearby. 

“Wake up, Cactus.”

  
  


_ He is awake-  _

  
  


“Shut up-”

  
  


The ground beneath him is shaking and before Zoro realizes what’s happening Eyeless Sanji is gone. He doesn’t mind it that much. The guy had something creepy about him. 

_ Probably the eyes.  _ Zoro snorts at the thought before feeling himself be pulled  _ up, away - out? _

  
  
  
  


..

  
  
  


He’s back on his back, back on the lawn where he’d fallen asleep earlier. The soft grass beneath him is pressed flat. 

Sanji is standing above him, leaning into his personal space with a pointedly non chalant attitude but most importantly, with two blue eyes. Unless the eye that’s hidden beneath blonde hair isn’t actually there anymore.

  
  


“You finally awake, mold brain?”

  
  


_...Awake? Awake. Of course. What a shitty nightmare. In hindsight he really should have known, but who can ever tell the difference on the Grand Line?  _

  
  


Zoro glares at Sanji, not all too offended. He can’t help but be relieved that the cook’s face is still intact.  _ He knew it wasn’t real. Of course it wasn’t- _

He’s really fucking thirsty, too.  _ Sake _ . Sake might ease his headache, too. 

Sanji - the  _ real  _ Sanji - is staring at him, frowning. “Oi, don’t ignore me, shithead.” His words lack their usual bite. Zoro doesn’t like it. 

“What, you need my attention that bad, shit cook?”

  
  


The cook restrains himself. Pity. 

  
  


“You should be inside, Marimo. Everyone’s waiting.”

  
  


_ Oh right.  _

_ The new guy hadn’t been properly introduced yet. Nami said she’d talk to Luffy about it.  _

  
  


“Was tired. The new guy can wait.”

Sanji gaze darkens. Then he’s looking away, fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his pockets. It takes him a couple tries to light one.

“It’s impolite to keep Nami-san and Robin-chan waiting.” The cook sounds upset, maybe even frustrated. “No matter what happens you’re really insistent on being a bastard, huh?”

“Do I look like I give a shit?”

“Quit it with that goddamn tough guy act, will you? It’s getting on my fucking nerves.”

Zoro almost chokes on his spit. “ _ Say that again _ , shit cook-”

  
  


Instead of firing back the cook takes a long drag of his cigarette. The anger on his face dissipates like smoke. 

“I’m not stooping down to your level. Shitty swordsman.” The insult is added like an afterthought and like before it holds no bite. “Let’s go. The captain is waiting.”

For a brief second Zoro considers provoking a fight. But when Sanji is stubborn like that, it’d take too much work. More than he’s willing to put in, in any case. 

Besides, he can’t keep his captain waiting. And he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about the stranger - their new crewmate - and when Luffy got him to join. And hadn’t the guy admitted to keeping an eye on Zoro? Maybe he’ll reveal his secrets if Zoro manages to corner him. Having Kitetsu pressed against his throat should do the trick if all diplomacy failed.

  
  


He nods and pushes himself up, refusing the cook’s offered hand.  _ He can get up by himself, thank you very much. Asshole.  _

Sanji doesn’t say anything, just tucks his free hand back into his pocket with a single, smooth movement.  _ That fucker thinks he’s so cool- _

The swordsman rolls his eyes and starts walking. 

  
  


“Oi, it’s the other direction, idiot marimo.”

  
  
  
  


..

  
  
  
  


He’s sitting in the galley again. 

Zoro barely remembers walking into the room. He hadn’t been paying attention. It’s not important anyways.

  
  


The entire crew has gathered across the table. Nami, sitting nearest to him, looks visibly uncomfortable. Usopp is standing in the door frame, anxiously twirling his fingers and staring at Zoro when he thinks he isn’t looking. Next to their navigator, Chopper’s eyes are glossy but his lips are tightly pressed together. He’s not a wide-eyed crewmember today, he’s in doctor mode. 

_ Did Nami tell him? He could’ve done that himself-  _

Waiting for someone to speak up, the swordsman continues mustering the Strawhats.

Robin is sitting in a chair, legs crossed, slightly leaning her upper body forward. He can’t pinpoint what bothers him about her friendly expression. A cup of tea that strongly smells like booze sits on the table in front of her.  _ Since when does Robin lace her tea? Maybe he’s rubbing off on her- _

The cook is busying himself in the kitchen, making fancy drinks and refilling cups that empty a lot quicker than usual. His hands are steady as he places a cocktail with orange color gradient in front of Nami. 

“Your Tequila Sunrise, Nami-swan~”

Nami thanks the cook with a small smile and the blonde leaves without going through his regular swooning procedure. 

  
  


_ Okay, something’s definitely off. _

Zoro eyes the stranger suspiciously.

He is currently having a glass of cola. Ice cubes rattle against glass as he absentmindedly stirs the drink with his straw. It looks ridiculously small compared to the size of his non-human hands. His hair is blue and short and his nose is metal. All in all he looks  _ weird. And why is he half naked? _ Zoro sighs internally.  _ Luffy really knows how to pick ‘em.  _

His captain is sitting next to the new guy, looking particularly serious. He hasn’t said anything yet, which is a rare occurrence.  _ What is he waiting for? Just introduce the guy already-  _

  
  


He does see another person, but Zoro refuses to look their way.  _ It’s not real. He’s tired and his brain is messing with him. _

  
  


Instead he slowly nurses his tankard of beer.  _ Ugh. Tastes like shit. Probably some of the non-alcoholic sort.  _ He didn’t even know they had non-alcoholic beer on board, what the hell-

Zoro’s about to break the silence to ask the cook what this is about, when he realizes  _ oh right - the infection.  _ There’s no way Chopper’ll let him have alcohol, at least not in front of him. The reindeer can be painfully persistent when he wants to be. Aware of his crewmates’ eyes on him, he holds back a pout. 

  
  


“Zoro,” Luffy says, apparently finally having found his words. “Nami said you haven’t been introduced to Franky yet?”

The stranger -  _ Franky  _ \- looks at him with an unreadable expression. Robin takes a couple sips of her laced tea. He watches them both with unconcealed interest before nodding. 

“Yeah, I think it’s about time. Where did you even pick him up?” 

_ They didn’t even land anywhere-  _

_ Granted, the guy - Franky - could have run into them on the sea if he had his own boat, or maybe they cut him out of a seaking like they did with Caimie and that starfish-  _

Luffy is staring at him like he’s said something wrong.

Tension seeps further into the atmosphere. _At this rate it’s almost thick enough to actually cut._ Zoro smiles humorlessly. 

  
  


“Do you trust me, Zoro?” He asks instead of answering the question. 

There’s not a single doubt about that. Without missing a beat Zoro nods, pouring his entire confidence into the gesture.

_ It is an odd response, though. _

Luffy rewards him with a determined smile. “Franky is nakama - has been since Water 7. He is the best shipwright ever! He built Sunny. You know that.”

  
  


_ Water 7 feels like ages ago. There’s no way someone could sail with them for that long without Zoro noticing-  _

_ He doesn’t know who built Sunny, he never cared to know. Sunny is an amazing ship and that’s that. It sounds reasonable that Luffy would want to take the shipwright who built her, with them. But surely if that were the case he’d remember it? At least some detail about the guy?  _

Zoro’s thoughts keep spinning.  _ If Luffy says he should know.. what does that mean? There’s no way he’d just forget a nakama, a crewmember- They all went through so much together. It's just not possible. _

The implication almost makes him sick. His heart is beating hard against his ribcage. 

  
  


_ Luffy can’t be serious.  _

  
  


  
Apparently the disbelief is showing on his face, because his captain smiles at him, bright and so self-assured that Zoro can’t help but _instinctively_ _ trust his words.  _

  
  


“Don’t worry, Zoro! We’ll figure out what’s wrong. _Promised_.”


	11. buoyancy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy is optimistic, Zoro is a little freaked out and Nami distracts their troubled swordsman for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me a little longer, but we're making progress! (Unfortunately Zoro is.. a bit slow)
> 
> I would have preferred to let this chapter sit for another couple days, but I got impatient haha so here you go :) As always THANK YOU to everyone reading, commenting and giving Kudos! It means a lot to me! <3

Luffy’s smile is as bright and confident as usual.  _ How does he do it? How can he say something like that-? How can he promise to fix things when not even Zoro knows what’s wrong to begin with?  _

His captain is not the kind of man who breaks his promises -  _ they’re the same in that matter _ \- so his gut instinctively tells him to relax.  _ Luffy will take care of things. Luffy can and will do whatever he sets his mind to-  _

But a part of him also knows it’s not that easy.  _ This isn’t something Luffy can simply fight.  _

Another part of Zoro wants to defend himself against the accusation of having  _ forgotten  _ one of his friends.  _ How the fuck is that even possible? He doesn’t recognize the tall robot-man but everyone seems really adamant on the fact that he is nakama and has been for almost as long as Robin-  _

He has no reason to doubt his friends or their words, except that he  _ really _ doesn’t want them to be true. But, with everything that’s been going on lately, is forgetting a person really that far-fetched? Couldn’t it just be another side effect of whatever weird infection he contracted? __

  
  


“ _ Luffy- _ ” Zoro’s voice is rough. “You’re not messing with me.” 

It’s not a question. 

His captain nods.

  
  


“ _ Fuck _ .”

  
  


“‘Fuck’ indeed, Marimo.” Sanji lights another cigarette. It’s his ninth, maybe tenth, since Zoro walked in. The rest of the crew doesn’t seem to mind the growing plume of smoke clogging the air.

“It is a rather fair assessment.” Robin muses, eyes fixed on him with a rare softness. 

  
  


Zoro’s mind is still reeling. He has nothing else to say, just  _ so many questions _ and no clue  _ where to begin-  _

He pinches the bridge of his nose and presses his eyes shut, as if that would make anything better. At least he won’t have to look at his nakama anymore and at their eyes, overflowing with devastating hurt and concern.  _ He can’t stand it. He’s supposed to be stronger than this. _

_ How could this have happened? How could he just forget someone-?  _

There really is no use in trying to deny it. If he weren’t feeling so shitty overall, maybe he’d have tried arguing because this just  _ couldn’t  _ be true. But Luffy said it was, in the kind of tone that left no room for discussion. 

_ Trust Luffy _ . 

Zoro takes a deep breath and tries not to appear overly distraught. 

  
  


_ He has forgotten one of his nakama. And he doesn’t even miss him.  _

  
  


Luffy smiles at him reassuringly and some of the tension melts from Zoro’s jaw. 

  
  
  


“So what happened? Did I hit my head or something?”

  
  


Neither of his crewmembers speak. Usopp is -  _ still? _ \- trembling like a leaf. Nami has tears in her eyes, Sanji’s burnt down cigarette singes his fingers. Luffy, however, keeps smiling.  _ Can’t be that bad, then.  _

  
  
  
  


After giving careful thought, Chopper quietly replies. “I don’t know. I couldn’t find anything, at least not major enough to cause that kind of memory loss. Maybe if I run some more tests-”

Zoro groans. “Didn’t you run every possible test already!?” 

“No., I didn’t do a full check-up yet. You didn’t appear to have any problems apart from your hands. As far as I could tell you passed out in the kitchen due to a combination of sepsis, lack of sleep and dehydration.”

Across the room, the cook furiously struggles to light another cigarette. His fingers slip from the lighter once, twice.  _ Third time’s the charm.  _ Smoke wafts through the air, snaking its’ way from Zoro’s nostrils to his airway until it clutches at his chest - slowly but surely digging its’ claws into his lungs, burning him from the inside. 

  
  


“Have you been experiencing any other symptoms? Anything at all?” 

  
  


_ He’s tired. He wants this all to be over with-  _

It seems to be showing on his face, because Chopper leans closer, flashing a light at his eye _.  _

  
  


“‘s fine.” Zoro grumbles. “Just tired.”

  
  


A thoughtful look appears on Chopper’s face. “Anything else? Have you been sleeping well?”

  
  


“Hmm. Not really I guess.” 

  
  


Nami and Robin exchange worried glances with Usopp. The Franky-Guy looks equally upset, although Zoro isn’t quite sure why. 

_ Oh right. He’s crew. He knows me even if I don’t remember him.  _

That thought should make him angry, upset; it should make him feel anything other than just numb. Something, or someone, has taken his memories of  _ Franky  _ and he should be preparing to slice up whatever’s responsible, if not for his supposed crewmate then at least for  _ himself.  _ But there’s nothing. 

Just a dark pit in his stomach and paralysing exhaustion. 

  
  


“Are you experiencing any nightmares?”

Zoro hesitates. “..yes.”

  
  


“How vivid are they?” 

  
  
  
  


The skeleton in the corner shifts in its seat.

_ It’s not real.  _

_  
_ _ Don’t look. Don’t look. _

  
  


He can’t keep the discomfort from his face.  _ This is crazy. You’re crazy. What good is a crazy swordsman? _

  
  
  


“..very..”

  
  
  


“Zoro, we can’t help you if you don’t tell us  _ exactly _ what’s going on.”

  
  


Zoro scratches his head, mainly trying to avoid making eye contact with his captain.  _ Luffy just needs to take one look to figure out what Zoro’s thinking.. and that’s something he usually appreciates - he prefers not to waste his breath on unnecessary words - but he’d really rather keep the extent of his unreliabiltiy to himself. Although Luffy probably already knows about that, too.  _

  
  


“He’s right, Zoro-san.” An unfamiliar voice chimes in. Zoro inconspicuously twists his head to see who’s speaking. The voice is too soft, too melodic to belong to the new- _no,_ to the _forgotten_ crewmember. 

For a second Zoro stares into two empty black holes that he  _ knows  _ he’s  _ seen  _ before.  _ Somewhere _ . 

He watches the skeleton’s jaw move, watches as it talks without a tongue, without lips, without a throat. And somehow, impossibly, it manages to produce sounds. 

  
  


“Your resilience is admirable but this is important. The more our doctor knows the better.” 

  
  


_ The skeleton actually speaks? Well fuck. He’s losing it.  _

_ And why is it acting like it knows him? Like it’s part of their crew? What kind of fucked up shit is his mind conjuring up- _

He’s seen those empty eyes before. Hollow black eyes. Exposed skull. 

_ Sanji. Sanji didn’t have eyeballs either.. in what turned out to be a nightmare. Is this just another bad dream? Is he going to wake up soon and forget the details of this conversation? _

Zoro may be no expert of human anatomy -  _ although cutting through people really teaches you a thing or two on the subject  _ \- but even he knows that a skeleton should not be able to talk. It should not be sipping tea -  _ where the fuck is the drink even going? It has no stomach! -  _ and it most definitely should not be sitting among his crew  _ as if it belongs there.  _

_ How the hell is this fair? His fucked up nightmare acts like it belongs to the crew, when Zoro himself doesn’t belong anymore-  _

  
  


Gritting his teeth, he turns his head away, not bothering to reply to some made-up skeleton. 

He’s not going to think about _ that thing _ anymore. 

_ It’s not real.  _

  
  
  
  


..

  
  
  


They’re still in the galley, although the atmosphere is less tense. It’s warmer, maybe because the Strawhats are huddled closer or maybe because the table is loaded with everyone’s favorite food, fresh from the stove. 

Through the open window, the smoke has begun to thin out. Nami’s glass is empty by now. 

He takes a big swig from the sake bottle sitting closest to him. 

“Everything alright, Zoro?” Robin asks, unnervingly observant as always. 

He takes another sloppy gulp, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth once he’s finished and shrugs. 

  
  
  


“ _ Hey _ ! Chopper said no more alcohol for you, idiot!” Nami yells from across the room. 

  
  


“Oh, shut it. Everyone’s drinking.” Zoro glances around the galley. “Where is he anyways?” 

“What, just because everyone’s doing it, you think  _ doctor’s orders _ no longer apply? What are you,  _ ten _ ? ” 

“ _ Hmph _ . I don’t care what you think, Sea Witch. Let me drink in peace.” 

“Don’t talk to our beautiful Nami-san like that, dumbass!” Judging by the speed of the blonde’s interjection, he’s been waiting for an opportunity to butt in. Probably looking for a fight.  _ He can get one. _

“Stay out of it, shit cook!”

Nami lets out a loud groan and shakes her head. “I won’t live to see the day where you two  _ just get along  _ for a few minutes, huh? Hell will freeze over before you two  _ give it a goddamn rest- _ ” 

She watches them bicker until she’s fed up, prepared to wack both of them but hesitates, once Nami realizes  _ that adding head injuries might not be ideal- _

Nami sighs in resignation. “Sanji, it’s fine. Zoro.. hand over the sake.” 

  
  
  


The cook doesn’t protest. Zoro’s tempted to pull the bottle closer to his chest, but reluctantly hands it to Nami anyways after taking one last gulp. She rolls her eyes, but says nothing. 

  
  


“So where did Chooper go?”

  
  


Nami brushes a long strand of orange hair out of her face. “Jeez, weren’t you paying attention? He went to the library like an hour ago.”

  
  


“Huh? What for?” 

  
  


“Are you dense? He said he might have an idea what’s going on with you, but he needed to check something before.”

Zoro can’t help but smile. “Really? That’s great.” 

Of course Chopper would figure it out.  _ He shouldn’t have doubted his nakama. _

  
  


Nami smiles back at him. “Hence the meal. Luffy wanted to have a celebration.”

  
  


“..isn’t that a little too early?” Zoro wonders, subtley hiding the small grin spreading across his face with one of his bandaged hands. 

  
  


“Probably.” She chuckles lightly. “But we’ve both known Luffy long enough to trust his judgement. He has something of a sixth sense for parties.” 

  
  


Sanji opens two bottles of alcohol-free beer -  _ shitty flavored water is all that is  _ \- and proceeds to set them down in front of them. Nami takes one bottle and hands Zoro the other one. She doesn’t like that kind of beer either -  _ they’ve had a heated discussion with Chopper, Luffy and.. someone else.. about that -  _ so he appreciates the gesture for what it is.  _ Solidarity. _

  
  


Nami raises her bottle and glass clinks against glass. _“Banzai. To_ your health.” 

  
  


“To our doctor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the first chapter that doesn't end in more angst - hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Next up: Chopper returns.


	12. promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of his newly found magical power of.. ignoring his problems, Zoro finally gets something resembling a break. 
> 
> Meanwhile, Franky totally does NOT cry, Sanji and Usopp get roasted without their knowledge, Robin and Chopper try their best and Zoro, like almost everyone in this fic, continues being a secretive bastard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, another chapter is finally up! I did my best to progress the story without rushing it. Hope it doesn't feel too dragged out :) 
> 
> From here on I'm probably going to take a bit longer to upload because 1) they tend to be a bit longer at this point (otherwise the endings would feel a little abrupt) and 2) online classes have started again. But not to worry, I think one chapter roughly each week is manageable because I already have the next few chapters finished :) 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy, big thanks to everyone who's STILL leaving such wonderful feedback! You're amazing and without you this story would not have gotten this far! <3
> 
> PS: With this chapter published, we've reached the first 100 pages (!) of my word doc - probably mainly because of my spacing and paragraph style.. but still, ya know? - and that's definitely my longest fic so far o.O Have some slight humor as a celebratory gift! :)

The party goes on. 

He’d been wearily watching Franky from the corner of his eye, looking out for any sign of danger. He might be crew, but even crew had betrayed them sometimes. 

_Nami, way back at the baratie. Robin and Usopp, at Water 7._

The huge blue-haired man had been somberly sipping his Cola for a while, until Robin included him in a conversation between the cook and her. After a few minutes the man seems to relax and begins engaging more actively, even managing to draw a loud, sincere laugh from their archaeologist. 

_Robin lets her guard down around him? Robin trusts him?_

  
  


If anyone would notice suspicious behaviour, it’s her. Thanks to twenty years of being a high-bounty fugitive, she knows to be careful around people, she knows not to blindly trust anyone- 

It had taken her a while to really trust all of them.. And if not only Luffy, but also Robin trusts _Franky_ then there really wasn’t any need to worry about him. 

_Luffy trusts easily and he always makes the right decisions when it matters, but Robin’s trust is never misplaced and has to be earned-_

Which meant that Zoro, too, could trust Franky. And that he could relax a little, knowing with unwavering certainty that truly no enemy was on board. 

  
  
  


_.._

  
  
  
  
  


Robin leaves first, only shortly after Zoro downs his fifth _alcohol-free_ drink of the night, explaining that she wants to go check on Chopper. Next to him, Nami looks like she’s about to go to the library as well, but changes her mind - _and seat_ \- and moves across the table to have a quiet conversation with Luffy. 

_What are they whispering about?_ Wrinkles form on Zoro’s forehead. _It seems like it has to do with Chopper and Robin.. and him. Is Nami not as optimistic about a potential cure as she seemed?_

He wants to go over and ask her but Usopp, sporting an infectious smile, plants his butt down on the now vacant seat next to Zoro, happily babbling about Chopper being a miracle doctor _and so on_ before he’s even properly seated- and Zoro just nods along smiling and pretending he can’t see _that damned skeleton_ oddly laughing at his friend’s story.

_How fucking ridiculous_. 

Zoro moves away from Usopp, _hoping that the skeleton would stay where it was._ Usopp, completely immersed in making up another one of his impossible tales, doesn’t even notice that he is no longer listening and keeps talking to himself while long, boney fingers clap along, mocking Zoro from across the room.

Scanning the galley, he notices that the huge, blue-haired man is now sitting alone. Luffy and Nami are still wrapped up in a conversation, joined by the cook, who is too busy smoking to actually engage and appears content with simply listening. _That’s a first. Especially with Nami there._

Chopper and Robin are still in the library, apparently, and Usopp still hasn’t noticed that nobody apart from a made-up skeleton is listening to his lies- 

_What an idiot._

Zoro smirks, ignoring the feeling of unease that the undead creature next to Usopp causes in his stomach. 

Might as well use the opportunity to talk to that new guy.. _no_ , _damn.. what’s his name again-_

  
  


_Franky-_

  
  


The robot -or _cyborg,_ as he insists on calling himself- practically beams with joy when Zoro wordlessly sits down next to him. They sit quietly for a while, neither knowing what to say, until the swordsman breaks the silence. 

  
  


“Uh.. I should probably apologize-”

  
  


Franky’s dark eyes widen in surprise. “ _Absolutely_ _not_! Zoro-bro, this is not your fault! There’s nothing to apologize for-”

  
  


Putting up a hand, Zoro shakes his head. “No, no, not that. Although I regret not remembering you. You seem like you fit in well with this crew.”

The cyborg’s eyes glisten suspiciously. _Hold up._ _Can cyborgs even cry?_

“When I first heard you talking my.. _our_ captain about me, I thought you were the one responsible for this entire fucking mess- but I guess I was wrong. You don’t exactly seem like a criminal mastermind.”

“Thanks-” After a couple of seconds Franky’s smile falters. “ _Oi!_ Oi, what’s that supposed to mean? I’ll have you know that I used to run the notorious _Franky Family_ before joining the Mugiwara-”

“Never heard of it.” Zoro deadpans.

A shadow immediately falls onto Franky’s face and he slumps back into his seat, muttering reassuring words to himself. His demeanor reminds Zoro a little of Usopp, Chopper and Nami.. or Luffy, when he’s being told that they’re out of meat.. maybe even the cook getting rejected by another woman. _Heh. And ain’t that always a sight for sore eyes._

Zoro flashes his _crewmate_ a small smile. 

  
  


“Uh, yeah.. _Anyways_.. I wanted to apologize. You seem like a chill guy and I shouldn’t have blamed you for whatever the hell is happening.. Sorry.”

  
  


Snotty tears stream all over the cyborgs face. _Ah._ _So they can cry-_

“Zo-o-o-o-ro-bro!” Franky manages to say between sobs. “ _You are a SU-U-PER dude- Don’t- Don’t even-”_

Slightly overwhelmed, Zoro proceeds to give the huge man an awkward pat on the shoulder, which makes the latter cry even harder. Before the swordsman can react, he’s being pulled into a hug tight enough to leave bruises. 

He doesn’t protest, just pulls a face and pretends to at least attempt to wiggle himself free. The metal of the cyborg’s arms is cold against his skin.. but still.. _it’s kinda nice._

Franky lets go once his sobs begin to lessen. Which takes a _damn long_ while. 

After finally having collected himself, he sniffs loudly and wipes the tears and snot into his shirt’s sleeve. “Just for your information, I was _NOT_ crying. My face just leaks sometimes. It’s- It’s a mechanical issue.”

_Jeez, that guy is almost a worse liar than Usopp. It’s kind of charming._

Zoro waves dismissively, smiling slyly. “Yeah, yeah, sure.”

  
  
  
  


..

  
  
  
  
  


Two alcohol-free drinks and half a bottle of sake, that Nami ripped from his lips as soon as she noticed, later, the cook begins shoo’ing them out of the galley. _Speak: Shoo’ing Luffy and Zoro out and dancing around Nami until she makes up an excuse to leave-_

Usopp, who had been too slow to hurry out of the room as soon as the words _“help”_ and _“clean”_ fall from Sanji’s mouth, is being held back to clean the mess the crew made while the cook gets started on whatever task he had insisted on doing _right now_ instead of keeping the party going- 

_What a buzzkill._

  
  


Luffy doesn’t seem to mind anymore as soon as Sanji says he needs to prepare some meat dish for tomorrow. He’s gone in an instant, presumably to see whether Chopper is done yet before going on night watch. Zoro considers tagging along, but Luffy is already out of sight.

Franky, who apparently is a shipwright - “ _‘Learned from the best there was!” -_ goes under deck to do some quick maintenance work on Sunny, leaving Zoro on deck entirely by himself.

Normally he would have used this opportunity to train.. but he’s far too _tired_ and his limbs ache with an almost unprecedented intensity. _He should just pull himself together and work through the pain, should take this opportunity to become stronger, should show his body who’s in charge.._ But he really doesn’t feel like doing that. 

Which is exactly why he _should_ do it. 

It might help clear his mind, too. 

The skeleton didn’t disappear all night, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, tried to will it away- 

It had tried talking to him - _why the fuck would it do that, it’s not real -_ but Zoro never even acknowledged it. Not as long as his nakama were there. _He really didn’t need to worry them more than they already were. Especially not when Chopper might have found a way to get rid of his.._ _ailment_ _. They didn’t need to know how bad it was._

_Not that it was bad._

_He could manage just fine._

  
  


Even if it’s unsettling that the creepy thing hadn’t left his side at all. _Of course it hadn’t._ It’s nothing but a side-effect, a lingering nightmare that he could still see and hear because he hadn’t been sleeping enough- 

He couldn’t even remember when he’d last gotten a full five hours of sleep. 

There had been that nap on deck after Nami had told him she’d get Luffy to introduce _Franky_ . It had ended with a disturbing nightmare involving Sanji and the.. absence of his eyes. While he had been dreaming, everything felt _so real,_ although he _knew_ it shouldn’t have. He hadn’t even been able to properly distinguish between nightmare and reality when he was first woken up- In hindsight it seemed so obvious. _S_ _anji still had his eyes. It had been nothing but a far too vivid nightmare-_

_Who’s to say that this skeleton isn’t just another spawn of his overtired brain?_

_He may not be a doctor but it does sound plausible-_

_A nap might fix it. No need to get Chopper involved. He could always just sleep his problems off._

  
  
  


Until then, hopefully, the skeleton will at least be keeping its distance. He can feel its hollow eyes bore into his back, can feel his neck hair stand on end against his will in response. 

_And if it’s real? If it’s a threat and the others can’t see it?_

Zoro’s hand wanders towards his hip, searches but finds nothing. _His swords aren’t here. Where did he leave them? He needs to be able to defend his crew and himself. Maybe this is a scheme, maybe someone is trying to.. No, no, that’s ridiculous. Don’t even finish that thought. Even if he were no longer.. fit.. enough to fight, the crew wouldn’t be helpless. They’d still have their captain, that damned cook and Robin. Usopp, Chopper and Nami weren’t as weak as they used to be either-_

_He’s not thinking clearly. Maybe if he had his swords, he’d feel a bit more grounded._

_If the skeleton were real, if it were a threat, it could have attacked long ago. Or maybe it’s waiting on the perfect time to strike, waiting for him to fall asleep-_

_But why taunt him like that? Why laugh at his nakama’s story?_

  
  
  


_It doesn’t make sense. It can’t be real. It’s already dead._

_He’s just tired and his brain is playing tricks on him._

  
  
  


Zoro struts past the skeleton, ignoring it as it calls his name - _he really doesn’t need to hear whatever his fucked up brain has to say_ \- and pushes the infirmary door wide open. 

  
  


It doesn’t follow him. _Fucking finally._

  
  


In the middle of the room. between stacks of books, Chopper is sitting on the floor, nose buried in a particularly thick tome. The reindeer is so focused on his task that he doesn’t even lift his head from the pages when the door falls shut behind the swordsman. 

“Just set the books on the floor, Robin.” The doctor murmurs tiredly. “With any luck, the entry I’m looking for is in any of them and I won’t have to ask you to go to the library again.”

Confused, Zoro turns around, looking for their crewmate but, besides them and an innumerable amount of books, the room is empty. However, a white sheath across the room catches his attention. _Wado._ He exhales deeply.  
  


Next to his most treasured sword rests Kitetsu.. and a third katana that he’s unfamiliar with. It’s unlike any other katana he’s ever owned before. He feels a sudden pull; an urge to walk over and strap the swords to his side, _back to where they belong_ even though he doesn’t know the black sword. _And where the hell is Yubashiri? Did Usopp take it again-_

He’ll have to ask him later.And maybe someone knows where that _other_ sword came from.

But first he needs to get his swords. He can take the third sword as well for now until he gets Yubashiri back.

Getting to the katana turns out to be a lot harder than expected, because the floor is stuffed with books, scattered notebook pages and a sea of coffee mugs. He can’t cross the room without loudly bringing attention to himself; Zoro is by no means a clumsy person but the infirmary floor is just _too damn cluttered._

Chopper should be able to reach his katana and hand them to him from where he’s sitting- 

While he’s at it, he might as well attempt to squeeze some information out of the doctor. 

  
  


Clearing his throat so as to not startle his nakama, Zoro carefully moves closer. 

Chopper looks up, dark bags hanging under tired eyes. His gaze is slightly clouded. “Did you not find any more books on-” The fog in front of his eyes lifts and the reindeer forces a small smile. “ _Oh_! Zoro! How are you?”

“I’ve been worse. You on the other hand look like you need a rest.” It’s not a question, not even a statement; it’s a gentle _take a break, for fucks sake_. Chopper effortlessly hears what's been left unsaid and sighs. 

“I can’t take a break now. I need to work _fast_.”

“What’s so important that you can’t take a break? Looks like you’ve been reading all night.”

Chopper’s eyelids fall shut for a second, before he rips them open again. “ _No, no- Sorry, Zoro_ , I _urgently_ need to look something up. I can take a break later. This could be important.”

It’s Zoro’s turn to sigh. “And I’m guessing you won’t tell me until you know for sure?”

“I don’t want to needlessly worry you-”

“Because _that’s_ helping.” 

Chopper looks away, guilt practically seeping from his face. As if on cue the door opens and Robin walks in, holding six books between her arms and carrying an additional stack with an extra sets of hands. There's a steaming pot of coffee in another hand sprouting from her side. She gives both of them a polite smile.

“Here’s some fresh coffee sent to you by Sanji-san.” Robin carefully sets down the books and places the pot in one of her actual hands before making her extra hands disappear in a whirl of petals. She refills the cup sitting nearest to their doctor, who smiles gratefully in response. “It’s already sweetened to your liking.”

“Thanks, Robin. You’re a lifesaver.” 

“Perhaps I could help you look for the entry? I checked the archives twice and these are the last books that match your criteria.”

Chopper nods thoughtfully. “Yes, that’d be wonderful-”

“Perfect.” Robin smiles. “Let’s get to it. I’ll just clear out a few of these dishes first so we’ll have more space and less things to worry about. Swordsman-san, would you be so kind as to assist me?”

Zoro scrunches up his nose. “ _Huh?_ What do you need my help for? There aren’t that many mugs, besides can’t you just _grow some more arms-?”_

She chuckles politely. “Indeed I could, but like our dear doctor, I am beginning to feel a bit tired and if I’m not mistaken it’ll be yet another long night.. I'll need my energy elsewhere.”

Reluctantly, Zoro agrees. “Alright, if you insist. Chopper, can you hand me my swords?”

“But didn’t you tell me to never touch the red one?”

“As long as you don’t unsheathe it, it’s fine.”

  
  


He watches Chopper cautiously pick the three swords up and holds them into his direction. “Oi. But no training, do you hear me?” The doctor stares at him warningly. “I’m serious. _Promise_.” 

“Whatever. But you gotta take a break.”

“I don’t have the time-”

Zoro raises his eyebrows. “With Robin here, you have as many pairs of eyes as you need. There is _plenty_ of time.”

“He’s right.” The archeologist agrees. “You can rest while I look for the entry. I’ll wake you once I’ve found it.”

“No, really I can’t-”

“ _Chopper_ .” Zoro firmly repeats. “ _Take a goddamn break.”_

  
  


_“_ .. _okay_. But I’m not going to be happy about it.”

  
“Great. Didn’t ask you to be. It’s a deal _._ ” With one swift motion, Zoro grabs the three katana and hooks them into his red sash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Robin's hidden agenda. 
> 
> 👁👄👁


	13. bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin tries to get information, Luffy's timing is.. either really good or really bad and Brook gets mentioned enough to deserve acknowledgement in the form of a chapter title. 
> 
> Zoro takes control of the plot (again) and - according to him - Chopper is probably already dead thanks to all that caffeine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I'm so glad I can finally post this! It took me a while (and a lot of editing) to be happy with the chapter - and by the time I was done it turned out slightly different from what I had originally intended*
> 
> Big thanks to everyone who took the time to comment! They really make my day (and inspire me to work a lot faster) <3 The same goes for kudos, bookmarks and even hits :) I'm happy to write this fic and even happier to know someone likes reading it ^^
> 
> Alright, hope you enjoy this week's chapter :)
> 
> (HEADS UP: the mildest possible wci spoiler. like only if you have no idea what that's about)

They step out of the infirmary, each of them carrying a tower of empty coffee mugs. Zoro’s pile wobbles dangerously beneath Robin’s curious gaze. 

_ “What.”  _ He grumbles. He hates being looked at _ like that  _ \- like he’s something to be studied and  _ dissected _ .  _ Their historian really knows how to take someone apart with nothing more than a look.  _

Robin’s stare remains fixed on his face. “You worry me, swordsman-san.” 

“..Is that why you made me help?”

He suspected that she might have some hidden motive.. That’s what she always does, after all.

Her mouth is moving, but Zoro doesn’t pay attention to her response. It’s not likely to be a straight-forward one anyways, so why bother? There are more important questions occupying his mind at the moment.  _ What does she know-?  _

_ Robin’s always been far too observant.  _ Both due to her curious nature - really, what are historians but people still asking “ _ why?”  _ like toddlers  _ \-  _ and her Devil’s Fruit. She could keep an eye (an ear, a nose and whatever else) on every corner of the ship if she wanted to. Thankfully, Robin seemed to be content just  _ knowing  _ things most of the time. She never directly approached him, just giggled and let him handle things..  _ does she not believe he can do that this time?  _

Robin shouldn’t be worried about him.  _ Nobody should.  _

_ He can totally deal with this. _

_ He is their first mate for fucks sake-  _

_ He is Luffy’s right hand. The right hand of the future pirate king. He is the man who’ll become the world’s best swordsman. _

_ He has to be strong for his captain and his crew. Their enemies are not going to take pity on them, he can’t falter now, can’t let them down- _

  
  
  


“Zoro?” Robin’s gentle voice pulls him from his thoughts. “Are you alright?”

  
  


_ Fucking hell. Is Robin a mind reader or something?  _

  
  


“Yea, yea. Just.. wondering.”

She acknowledges his vague reply with a barely-there nod. In turn, Zoro follows her gaze as it wanders over deck. It’s empty, except for the two of them. Faint music reaches his ear. 

_ Huh. Another one of Usopp’s tone dial recordings?  _ The voice sounds a bit too sharp for that, there simply isn’t enough distortion.  _ Live music then? But they don’t have a musician- _

_ Unless- _

_ Did Luffy finally get that musician he won’t shut up about-? _

_ Then again,it could be some random person that their captain decided to help for some reason, or maybe an intruder.. (but who sneaks on board of a pirate ship to play ambience music?) _

_ It doesn’t matter. Robin doesn’t seem to mind. He has to figure out what she wants, first. He’s not going to just ask her, though. Then she’d have the upper hand. If he’s particularly unlucky, any question he asks is telling enough for her to figure out whatever she wants to know- There’s no way she’d tell him anything after that. Not soon, at least.  _

_  
_ _ No, no. He can play her game just as well as she can.  _

They continue to walk in silence until they reach the galley, where Robin pushes the door open with one of her extra arms. “After you.” 

Zoro struts ahead, carefully balancing the mugs ( _ How the hell did Chopper even manage to drink so much coffee without giving himself a heart attack? Poor guy must be having the worst heart palpitations.. )  _ and loudly sets them down on the counter. 

Robin’s extra hand disappears in a flurry of flower petals, effectively letting the kitchen door fall shut. Never taking her eyes off him, she sets down her mugs as well. They don’t clink or clatter at all. 

“If you don’t mind me asking-”

_ Ah. There it is. Finally.  _

“Ask. You’ll do it anyways.”

She gives him a sly smile. “Oh, you know me all-too well.”

  
  


_ Oh, she’s definitely planning something. It’s written all-over her calm face. That devil.  _

  
  


“Tch. Just ask already.”

  
  


“How do you feel about Soul King’s music?” She’s looking at him expectantly, pretending to make casual conversation. 

Zoro can’t help but stare at her in surprise.  _ That’s the last thing he expected to hear.  _

_ There’s some sort of catch to her question, there has to be. Robin does not bother with small talk unless she considers it necessary to gain further information.  _

  
  


_ And who the hell is Soul King?  _

  
  


_ Probably some singer. Maybe her favorite one. Or maybe Franky’s favorite?  _

_ Is she trying to make him recall memories? But how the hell would he know what music the guy likes if he can’t even remember the fact that he is nakama-  _

  
  


His head is slowly starting to hurt. Zoro grimaces. 

_ Robin really needs to cut that crap. He’s not in the mood for guessing games. _

  
  


“You’re not really here to talk about music, are you?” 

  
  


“Hm. No. You’re absolutely right, of course.” Robin’s piercing blue eyes are searching his for..  _ something _ . “Perhaps I need to reword my question.”

Zoro groans. He’s about to respond when a loud noise behind them cuts him off.

“ _ Oi _ ,  _ Sanji- _ ” A loud and cheery voice calls, followed by a loud, crashing sound - presumably the kitchen door being slammed into the wall - and then sandals, squealing on wood. “Oh!  _ Zoro _ !  _ Robin _ !” 

  
  


Two heads turn to watch their captain skid to a halt, just in time to avoid crashing into them. The two crewmates exchange a silent look while Luffy laughs wholeheartedly, before turning his attention towards his swordsman. His expression is unusually serious.

_ Didn’t they already go through that whole song and dance?  _

_ What does Luffy want to say now? _

“ _ Zoro.  _ Brook told me you’re ignoring him.”

“ _ Who _ ?” 

  
“Ah.” Robin sighs. “I was trying to be.. a tad more  _ subtle  _ than that.”

“ _ Brook _ .” Luffy repeats.

  
  
  


_ Brook, Brook, Brook-  _

_ He has never heard that name before.  _

_ It’s a familiar feeling.  _

  
  


_ Fuck. Fucking hell. Is Brook another crewmember.. Like Franky? Is he still forgetting people? _

  
  


_ Shit- _

  
  


His heart begins thumping against his chest. It’s an uncomfortable stinging sensation that  _ pulls  _ at something in his chest, making it hard to breathe. 

His mouth is dry and numb. He can feel the blood pulsing through his cheek, through his limbs, feels petrified as his arm goes stiff. Distantly, he’s aware of his muscles aching in protest.

He can’t stop thinking about his goddamn scarred eye, can’t stop being aware of  _ how wrong  _ it feels in his skull, almost as if it weren’t his, when he knows for a fact that it has to be - that it is - but that doesn’t make the feeling go away. 

His crewmates are reduced to nothing more than blotches of color. Zoro bites his cheek in an hopeless attempt to refocus. It doesn’t change anything, except the taste of iron that floods his senses. 

  
  


It’s grounding enough for the blurs to slowly take shape again. Sound comes rushing back - he hadn’t even realized that it had gotten quiet - even with his heart still thumping violently.

  
  
  


“ _ Brook _ .” Luffy’s faint voice repeats stubbornly. “Our musician.”   
  


Zoro avoids looking at him. “ _ Nakama _ ?”

_ It’s a question that needs to be asked, even if he already knows the answer. His head is spinning furiously, trying to wrap itself around the newest revelation. _

  
  


Luffy nods.

  
  


_ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  _

_ He really forgot somebody else. How could he not have noticed?  _

_ What the fuck is going on?  _

_  
_ _ Is he going to forget everyone? What if he’s not only forgetting people but also his skills? His dream-?  _

  
  


He hears his captain talk frantically, (“ _ Oi, oi! Zoro, relax! _ ”), but he can’t make sense of the words, can’t follow, can’t process what’s being said. His head hurts like a  _ bitch _ . 

Luffy seems to understand without Zoro mentioning it, because he stops talking and looks at him, eyes full of trust and the unconditional love that he has for all of them - and something inside of the swordsman snaps back into place, just a little bit. 

His chest still feels too tight, but his senses are returning. He can actually see, actually register Luffy now. 

Zoro forces himself to relax his muscles before he cramps. Unlocks his jaw. Tastes blood in his mouth. 

  
  
  
  


And Luffy - _ loud, careless Luffy _ \- stays silent because that’s what Zoro needs right now. 

There’s a gentle touch on his right shoulder. Involuntarily, his heart begins beating painfully against his ribcage. 

Zoro pales and turns. 

  
  


_ They must think he’s- _

  
  


He can’t finish that thought. Strong arms, thinner than his own, wrap themselves around his shoulders, tug him into a comfortable hug. 

With an unusually gentle voice his captain murmurs into his ear, “That okay?”.

In lieu of an answer Zoro leans into the embrace, hiding his face against Luffy’s chest.

As Luffy holds him, the feeling slowly fades away. By the time the headache passes, Luffy has wrapped his rubbery limbs around his swordsman, pulling his first mate into a perfectly tight hug that feels  _ just right.  _ The tension melts from his muscles and he relaxes further into the hug, tightens his own grip on his captain’s waist - on the present - as Luffy rubs soothing circles on his back.

Zoro wonders, for a second, why Luffy always seems to know exactly what his friends need. 

  
  


_ He could fall asleep like this. He’s dead tired.  _

_ It’d be okay. Luffy wouldn’t mind. And if something happened while Zoro was asleep, his captain would handle it.  _

Luffy is strong enough to handle what even Zoro can’t. They protect each other. This is no different, he tells himself, because he suddenly doesn’t find it within himself to care about showing weakness anymore. 

_ And if there’s one person he can truly drop his guard with it’s Luffy, the man he chose to follow.  _

But still, Luffy knows he’s strong. Luffy trusts him. Luffy has his back. Luffy seeks touch and it’s easier to lean into an offered hug than it is to ask for one. 

  
  


_ Maybe that’s why Luffy is so touchy with people he cares about? _

  
  


_ It doesn’t matter.  _ The hug feels good and when it’s over they won’t have to act like nothing happened - and if he needs arms wrapped around him again, he won’t have to ask, because Luffy  _ just knows  _ and that is so goddamn  _ nice _ . 

He likes each of his nakama, of course, no matter how annoying they can be, but none of them could ever come close to the way Luffy makes him feel. 

  
  


_ Light. _

  
  


_ Safe.  _

  
  
  


Johnny and Yosaku once joked about how a scrawny kid in a strawhat could possibly have tamed the infamous  _ Demon of the East Blue _ . Back then, Zoro hadn’t been part of the crew that long. He hadn’t even fought Mihawk yet. He truly had been a different person. But he still stands by his reply. 

“ _ He’s an idiot, but somehow he always finds a way.” _

  
  


And Zoro truly believes that. He has seen Luffy pull off all kinds of impossible stunts: From making friends with loners, to climbing giant hills to get them help, to defeating shichibukai, to breaking into and out of top security prisons, to roping notorious fighters into helping him, to surviving loss - only to declare war on a Yonko, fight for days straight, convince the dumb cook to _come back,_ all the while staying as bright and fun as always. 

Nothing can dampen Luffy’s spirits - except maybe a lack of meat - because he knows he’ll  _ always  _ find a way. The moodiest of bastards develop a soft spot for him. The prettiest of girls fall for him. Not that the oblivious dumbass would notice.

  
  


Over the course of their journey Zoro has learned that once Luffy  _ wants  _ something, he gets it. If he wants to become Pirate King? Sure; Zoro’ll help him, as well as he possibly can. He’ll die for Luffy’s dream if he has to. 

That’s a strange feeling for a guy who never put anything, anyone in front of his  _ own, ridiculously ambitious dream.  _ And somehow, Luffy  _ gets it.  _ In a way that nobody else does. 

  
  
  
  


_ “Why do you wanna be the best?”  _

  
  
  


_ “Don’t be stupid! Why are you willing to die for a dream?”  _

  
  
  


_ “There’s no way you could ever beat Mihawk.”  _

  
  
  


_ “You can’t even defeat a girl.”  _

  
  
  


_ “What’s so great about swords anyways?” _

  
  
  
  


He made a promise. And he’ll either live life the way it’s meant to - in full; for his dream - or he won’t live it at all. He’ll defeat Mihawk. Become the Best. He couldn’t defeat Kuina - but if she were here now, he’d like a rematch. Swords are amazing and people - whether they’re men or women - who wield swords and show them and their opponents respect.. are  _ amazing. The technique, the training, the dedication, the willpower that flows into a single slash.. _

  
  
And Luffy - his captain -  _ gets all that.  _ Without words. And he feels the same way.

It's comforting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *different than intended: Zoro gets another hug. I don't know where he gets them from, it just happens. I, apparently, am no longer in control of the story. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Next up: Robin has all the braincells


	14. questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin has a lot of questions. Zoro has no answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Another chapter :)
> 
> I tried my best to sprinkle more humor in because 2020 is already a lot and I feel like we could all use some silliness^^
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who is still reading this story and leaving feedback, you guys are the sweetest! Hope you enjoy <3
> 
> Tw: bad humor, tiny mention of drugs - Zoro is really grasping at straws here - and I'm still bad at English comma placement 🤷🏻♀️

_It’s nice to be held._

Zoro closes his eye. _Is this what peace feels like? It’s been too long-_

His breathing slowly evens out and his hands, buried in Luffy’s soft shirt, let loose. Luffy shifts and Zoro lets out a barely audible sigh in protest. 

  
  
  


“Oi, Zoro.” 

  
  


He doesn’t reply. Just opens his eye to show his captain that he has his attention. Not that he can see anything other than the edge of Luffy’s shoulder and the floor.

  
  


A sudden realization hits him like a brick. _This is a strangely vulnerable position to be in._

  
  


He tenses. 

  
  


Luffy responds by giving him another tight squeeze before unwrapping his arms. Strong hands are grabbing at his shoulders, pushing him away from his captain-

  
  


_..no.._

  
  


_..don't.._

  
  


Something awful begins to form in his gut, spreads to his lungs, clasps itself around his heart.

  
  


He tries to push it back, tries to be strong like he always is and it almost seems like he succeeds. Still, with all the conviction in the world it doesn’t disappear entirely, shows in his eyes for Luffy to see, even when he realizes a split-second later that it’s Luffy holding him, pushing him away just far enough to be able to look at his face. 

Zoro is staring right through him, looking at nothing in particular as the thing digs deeper, reminds him _he’s forgetting people and soon he could be missing someone else, someone important, someone he loves.. Soon he could be missing Luffy, could be missing pieces of himself-_

  
  
  


Suddenly the grip on his shoulders tightens and he’s being shaken wildly. 

  
  


“WHAT THE-”

“Your face looked weird.” Luffy explains, as if that was supposed to justify shaking someone like a rag doll. 

Zoro grits his teeth and slaps Luffy’s hands away. “Sure it did.”

“ _No_ , _really_!” 

  
  
  


“I would probably use a different descriptor, but _weird_ seems fairly appropriate.”

  
  


_Oh, shit. Robin. He’d completely forgotten about her._

_She had been here this entire time, hadn’t she?_

  
  


Hot embarrassment shoots into his cheeks, making his face burn as red as Luffy’s vest and the ribbon around his treasured hat. 

Robin chuckles lightly but in her ever-present wisdom, decides not to address it. 

“There, that’s how your face should look!” Luffy unhelpfully adds.

Zoro’s face turns even redder and he wacks his captain’s hollow skull in response. “ _Shut up, idiot_!”

Luffy falls to the floor, his hands covering the swelling bump beneath his black hair. Zoro glowers at him for good measure, before straightening his back, returning his attention to Robin and casually clearing his throat. 

Their achaelogoist, of course, seems to find this _fucking hilarious_. Although she doesn’t laugh, the mirthful sparkle in her eyes betrays her. “Touchy subject?” 

“Not at all.” He smiles like a shark, finally having willed away the embarrassment, while Luffy continues to whine and mope around on the floor. 

  
  


“I see.” Robin’s weak smile fades. “I hate to sour the mood, but I think we need to address the current situation. It appears you have not only forgotten our shipwright, but also our dear musician.”

  
  


_Straight to the point this time around, huh?_

  
  


Zoro crosses his arms in front of his chest and slightly tilts his head.

  
  


“We have to consider the possibility that you may keep forgetting until our doctor figures out a way to stop whatever is happening to you.”

  
  


_His thoughts exactly. Robin really can read minds._

  
  


“We should also explore to what extent this newly discovered symptom is affecting you. Perhaps you have already forgotten other things that we’re not aware of yet; or it could turn out to be lethal, even, if this seemingly selective amnesia spreads to your sensomotoric memory and you forget how to counter a strike in a battle or, more tragically, forget how to breathe and choke to death like a fish on dry land-”

  
  


Zoro can’t help but frown. “You’d ‘ _hate to sour the mood’,_ huh?”

_He hadn’t even considered that. Forgetting how to raise his blades.. what an unsatisfying way to die. Certainly not one fitting his ambition._

_If he’s going to die, he’ll die fighting. Properly._

  
  


“My apologies. Old habits die hard.”  
  


“ _Ahhh,_ Robin _!_ You really think Zoro’s going to forget how to breathe? _”_ Luffy butts in, audibly distraught.

“That’s not for me to say. Chopper will surely know more on that matter, once he’s determined exactly what is plaguing our swordsman.”

Judging by the disappointed sigh he makes, their captain is not entirely satisfied with that answer. Robin continues, looking at Zoro. “ _Any_ information is going to help.”

  
  


“How the fuck am I supposed to know what I’ve _forgotten_?”

  
  


_What a dumb idea._

  
  


“Why don’t you start by recounting the crewmembers for us?” 

  
  


_Huh, maybe her idea is not so stupid after all._

Zoro begins, while counting along with his fingers.

“Well, of course there’s Luffy..” _One._

“..And me..” _Two._

“..Nami..” _Three_. 

".. Usopp.." _Four._

“..Sanji..” _Five._

“..Chopper..” _Six._

“..And you, Robin.” _Seven_.

  
  


_Seven Crewmates. That’s all._

  
  


_No, wait-_

  
  


_It’s not. It can’t be. They’ve talked about this-_

_What were their names again?_

  
  


_Fran-something. Franco? Frannie? Franklin? Franman?_

  
  


It’s on the tip of his tongue. _They’ve told him before, he knows this, maybe if he tries harder he’ll remember-_

A sudden wave of dizziness hits him, turns the world dark for a second. _Shit. He’s going to collapse._ Zoro digs his nails into Wado’s hilt. _He’s not going to collapse. He’s not going to-_

It takes every ounce of strength left in his body to remain upright. 

Robin seems to have decided that Zoro is not going to add anything else and comes to the rescue. “That’s good. You’re missing Franky and Brook-”

  
  
  


_Right.._ The dizzy feeling fades as quickly as it struck. _Franky-! Brook-! That’s what everyone said they were called._

  
  
  


“-but you still remember everyone else. Though it’s hard to say how long it’s going to stay that way.”

“Thanks for that.” Zoro dryly replies. 

  
  


Robin smiles apologetically, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She looks a lot like she did after they ran into Aokiji. Distanced. Already prepared for the worst. 

She’s sitting on one of the bar stools, legs crossed elegantly. She’s leaning towards him, resting her cheek against her long fingers. “By the way, I’m curious: Why were you ignoring Brook?” 

  
  


“Can’t say that I have.” 

  
  


_For fucks sake, he hasn’t even met the guy yet-_

  
  


Robin’s eyebrows scrunch themselves together. “So you _didn’t_ see any skeletons aboard?”

“W-What..?”

“A tall skeleton.” Luffy chimes in. “Waving like this.” 

Their captain waves both of his hands furiously. 

Zoro pales.

  
  


_Huh. He had seen a skeleton, waving like a maniac. But he’d thought-_

_Is he seeing it too?_

_That’s ridiculous. Perhaps the cook made his special brownies again?_

_But they all agreed that Luffy would not - under ANY circumstances - be given any after what happened during the pantry incident-_

_It can’t be. Robin seems to be seeing it, too. Although that woman could just be messing with him._

  
  


“You look, dare I say.. overwhelmed.”

  
  
  


_..Fuck._

_It would be just like Luffy to find the world’s only living skeleton and befriend it._

  
  
  


Zoro manages to muster a sputtered noise. “ _That’s_ Brook!?”

  
  
  


“So you did see him!” Luffy smiles brightly. “Why’d ya ignore him?”

  
  


_So this ‘Brook’ is a literal living skeleton. Of fucking course._

_There’s no way he can tell them that he mistook one of their nakama, even one as weird as that, for.. for what exactly? A sign of deteriorating sanity? A sign of sleep deprivation? A hallucination?_

_How fucking pathetic._

_How could he make such a crucial mistake?_ Zoro could usually rely on his gut to tell him whether someone was trustworthy or not.. and now he can’t even tell whether someone is real or not? _What the actual fu-_

  
  


“What did you think that skeleton was?” Robin calmly asks.

“Don’t know.” Zoro shrugs. It’s almost true, anyways.

  
  


Judging by the disappointment hidden in the slight downward-turn of the corners of her mouth, Robin does not buy that at all. Whatever, he doesn’t have any other answer that would satisfy her. 

He throws a quick glance at Luffy instead. “Oi, you really need to stop bringing freaky people on this ship.”

“Never!” His captain crosses his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t want a boring crew.”

“How could any crew with someone as crazy as _you_ on it ever be boring, dumbass?” 

“Still.” Luffy pouts. 

“..So how’d you get an actual skeleton to join the crew?”

“I asked.” He says, as though it’s the dumbest question he’s ever heard and Zoro is _very, very slow_ on the uptake.

Zoro can already feel his headache worsening. _Is this what Nami feels like all the time?_

“Of course you did.”

  
  


“Well, not to forget, there was that whole mishap with Moria, Oz and the cadaver of a particularly strong samurai that had Brook-san’s shadow inside, which you retrieved.”

  
  


_That sounds.. wack._ And he does not remember any of it. If there’s even anything to remember, it sounds exactly like one of Robin’s hypothetical scenarios. Her stories always have plenty of dead things _._ There cannot be more than one talking skeleton, can there? And if there was.. How could he just forget about it? 

  
  


“Does the name _Thriller Bark_ mean anything to you?”

Zoro can barely react, can barely even process the question before he’s hit by a rapidly changing set of mental images. They’re vivid, like particularly bad nightmares or memories, but they don’t feel familiar, not even a little bit.

  
  


_White glowing eyes._

_A huge shadow towering above him._

_Searing pain runs through his body. He’s shaking as though he’d been electrocuted._

_He bites down hard. Almost bites his tongue off._

  
  


_Heavy breathing._

  
  


_Screams, that sound a lot like his own. They don’t stop, why won’t they stop-_

  
  
  
  


Zoro’s heart is thumping wildly. _What the fuck was that, what the fuck-_

The images vanish. He can’t picture the scene anymore, no matter how hard he tries. All that’s left is a vague sense of pain in his body, like an aftershock.

_Whatever Thriller Bark is, it can’t be good._

  
  


Zoro shakes it off, tries to appear as calm as possible but his breathing is a bit too fast, a bit too shallow and he’s not optimistic enough to believe that his nakama won’t notice - but this isn’t about them and how would he even begin to explain? He can barely remember what just happened.

_That can’t be too good, either._

  
  


His crewmates are waiting for him to say something, anything at this point. 

“Not really..” Zoro says eventually, “..Doesn’t sound all that good, though.”

  
“How about _Kuma_? Or _Sabaody_?” Robin seems hesitant to ask.

  
  


Another flood of impressions assaults him. 

  
  


_He’s weak and he’s hurting and he’s slowing them down._

_If they just left him behind, they would make it out of here alive._

_Why aren’t they running? Why are they still trying to fight?_

  
  


_Please, just go! Leave!_

  
  


_They can’t save him anymore, not from this, this is it for him-_

  
  
  


The feelings fade from his mind, again almost as soon as they occur. He’s left behind, confused and unsettled.

  
  


_What had Robin wanted to know? Kuma? Sa-something?_

  
  


Zoro repeatedly digs his fingers through his hair until his scalp is sore. “..maybe. I don’t know.” 

  
  


One of Robin’s real hands reaches out to briefly squeeze his arm. 

Her voice is calm and soothing. “Do you know where we are?” 

_Fucking hell,_ she’s acting like he’s a small child. Like he could break.

  
  


Zoro makes a point of sounding as condescending as possible, using a tone that's usually reserved for the shit cook and the shit cook _only_. “The _Grandline_.” 

  
  


_That’ll show her._

  
  


Robin, annoyingly, does not acknowledge his tone and settles for leaning back and slightly tilting her head. “More precisely?”

  
  


_Great, now he looks stupid. Where are they exactly?_ He’s not a navigator, it’s not his damn job to know where they are. He’s supposed to keep them safe, no matter where they are. It's not relevant, but still, he should know that, shouldn't he? 

  
  


“Does it matter? We just left .. some island..”

  
  


Not having embarrassed him enough yet, apparently, Robin musters him again. “What did we do there?”

_He tries thinking about it, but it’s blurry and refuses to come to him._

“Fuck, I don’t know, the usual?”

“Interesting.”

  
  


The calculating tone in her voice is enough to make him explode. _He’s so fucking sick of not understanding her weird mind games-_

  
  
  


“No _,_ not interesting! What the hell are you trying to say?” Hoping for support, Zoro looks to Luffy, who’s been suspiciously quiet this whole time. 

Luffy doesn’t say anything, but the grim expression tells Zoro everything he needs to know. 

  
  


_Now is not the time to fight. He needs to listen._

  
  


Reluctantly, Zoro obliges his captain’s wishes. Robin’s posture immediately relaxes. 

  
  
  


“What’s your most recent memory, swordsman-san?” 

“Apart from just now? _Yesterday._ The day before.” 

  
  


Again, Robin simply ignores his rude undertone. “Hmm. Am I right to assume that you don’t recall Zepter island? Or rather, what happened after we left it?”

  
  


Zoro doesn’t bother to reply. _Would everyone stop talking about things he’s never heard of? It’s getting annoying as fuck._

  
  
  


“Perhaps we should start at the beginning, then. I’m going to be as thorough as possible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: 
> 
> Robin has some answers, Zoro needs some time and Sanji tries to show our resident idiot that he cares.. Without actually making it seem like it


	15. bile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin has the patience of an angel, Zoro is looking for booze and.. oh? Pudding gets a cameo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to Chapter 15! As always, big thank you to everyone who is still reading etc.! Without your kind feedback this story would not have gotten that far !<3
> 
> I decided to add some more "filler"-ish scenes, just because. Maybe they'll manage to brighten this chapter up a little bit ;)
> 
> ALSO: Just letting you know, if you read last week's chapter within the first day of me posting, I made a tiny error - I totally forgot about Usopp :0. Thanks to attentive readers it has been fixed already - but in case you're wondering, Usopp has not been forgotten (by Zoro, at least)! 
> 
> (...It seems mossy's forgetfulness is contagious )
> 
> PS: Tiny warning for the thing that is in the chapter title

“Goddamn, I need some booze-” Zoro struts over to the section of the galley where the cook hides his alcohol. His headache is  _ killing  _ him. 

Robin stays silent, but he can feel her eyes on him, following his every movement. 

**  
  
**

He opens the first cabinet.  _ Nothing _ . 

Okay, so maybe the cook moved his stash. 

He tries the second cabinet. Reaches behind the other bottles. 15 types of vegetable oil and not a single drop of booze.  _ What the fuck, Sanji.  _

Maybe he should just settle for cooking rum. If he can find it, that is-

Zoro rummages through another cabinet.  _ Again, nothing.  _

**  
  
**

_ It has to be here somewhere-  _

**  
  
**

Maybe he needs to think like Sanji. Where would the cook hide his booze? He’d probably try to be all smart about it. Hide it where Zoro would never look. 

**  
  
**

_ Maybe.. ? What if-? ..hmm.. _

**  
  
**

He squats down and opens the cabinet beneath the sink. Usually, there’s nothing there but a trash can and cleaning supplies, but  _ maybe..  _

**  
  
**

_ Jackpot!  _

**  
  
**

Hidden behind different bottles of liquid soap are several samples of the cook’s finest booze. Zoro’s eyes begin to gleam. He grabs the first bottle his fingers brush against and pulls it out without moving any of the cleaning equipment out of the way. 

Once he’s standing upright again, he examines the label.  _ Brandy. 48%. Distilled on Fishman Island.  _ It’s a fancy-looking bottle.. that someone wrote their number on. Zoro almost chokes on his own spit. 

“You okay?” Robin asks innocently, not sounding particularly concerned. 

Once he’s stopped coughing, Zoro dismissively waves his hand. “Yeah, yeah,  _ shut up _ .”

Curious, he twists and tilts the bottle.  _ Who’d give the cook such expensive liquor? _

Unfortunately, there’s no name. Someone seems to love eating pudding, though, because they’ve dedicated some space beneath the number to draw a big heart around the word _pudding. Weirdo._ Also, now that he thinks about it, probably exactly what Luffy would do, but with _meat_.

**  
  
**

Anyways. The bottle is still unopened.  _ Should he-? _

It doesn’t seem.. right. It might have been a gift from some important weirdo and well, Zoro doesn’t like Brandy that much anyways, even if the percentage isn’t all that shabby. It’s far too sweet for his liking. _ He might just as well start drinking sugary water. No thanks.  _

**  
  
**

Zoro puts the bottle back and reaches for a different one. This time he’s luckier. It’s Sake.  _ His favorite brand, even.  _

**  
  
**

There’s nothing written on it, either.  _ Perfect.  _

**  
  
**

He uncorks the bottle in one swift motion and takes a long swig, instantly feeling more like himself. His headaches remains, but whatever, at least he has something to drink now. One bottle isn’t even nearly enough to get him the slightest bit tipsy, but maybe he’ll be able to wash down the bitter aftertaste of Robin’s stories with it. 

Zoro places the bottle on the counter between them in an unspoken invitation. Robin rewards his gesture with a small smile and points for him to take a seat, but Zoro shakes his head.

“Nah, I think I`ll stand.” 

He’s feeling far too restless to sit still. Which reminds him- 

**  
  
  
  
  
**

“.. _Oi_ , where’d Luffy go?” 

**  
  
  
**

Robin shoots him a funny look that he chooses not to interpret. “He went to tell Chopper about our latest discovery.” 

**  
  
  
**

_ Huh, he hadn’t even noticed. Did Luffy sneak out of the room? But Luffy doesn’t sneak-  _

**  
  
  
  
**

Gently poking him with one of her freshly sprouted hands to regain his attention, Robin adds, “He didn’t seem like he wanted to leave, though. It helped when I promised him that I’d keep you safe until he got back.”

**  
  
**

_ I don’t need to be kept safe,  _ he wants to hiss, but doesn’t. They’re all trying to deal with an.. odd situation.  _ If only they weren’t being so annoying about it.  _

Instead, Zoro frowns. “And what exactly are you protecting me from?”

“That depends entirely on how this unfortunate situation progresses. Maybe yourself.”

**  
  
  
  
**

..

**  
  
  
  
**

Zoro only half-listens as Robin begins a detailed description of an island she calls Zepter. Apparently it has a volcanic beach,  _ bla bla _ , and rare flowers that the shit cook tried to give to as many women as he could - only to get his ass beaten by some old witch lady he refused to fight.  _ Dumbass.  _ He doesn’t quite understand -  _ no, come to think of it, heh, he does, actually - _ why some random grandma would beat up the cook-

_ Sacred flowers _ , Robin explains, using a lot more words, and  _ ruins  _ and  _ curse  _ and  _ superstition.  _

**  
  
  
**

There was some mention of Nami and Chopper helping kids, Luffy bankrupting not just one, but two restaurants and Usopp blowing something up. According to Robin, Usopp also insisted he’d seen a grumbling Zoro letting himself be dragged around by two five-year-olds. 

None of it sounded even vaguely familiar. Did seem like their ordinary island shenanigans, though.

**  
  
**

Apparently the villagers had proceeded to throw them a party -  _ for what, exactly? -  _ and Nami had shown up late, giggling at something some brunette next to her said. He wasn’t quite sure why Robin mentioned that part, or why she kept smiling so  _ weirdly _ about it _. _

_ Whatever _ .  _ Let Mystery-Woman be mysterious. _

**  
  
**

“Anyways, the banquet ended early.” Robin continues, finally having wiped that smug grin of her face. “It seems someone alerted the marines and informed them of our location. We decided not to get the villagers into trouble since an admiral was said to be stationed nearby-”

“An admiral?” Zoro’s brows furrow.

_ Like Aokiji? Shit. They weren’t ready- _

**  
  
**

“Yeah, nothing Luffy couldn’t handle, but like I said, we didn’t want to drag those innocent islanders into this.”

**  
  
  
**

_ What-? Since when did Robin have such a.. seemingly carefree attitude towards admirals? Just recently, the mere sight of Aokiji had caused her to literally freeze-  _

**  
  
  
**

“Our escape went rather smoothly thanks to some recent upgrades Fr-” Robin pauses, “-our shipwright made.”

“Huh. That’s good to hear, I guess.” Zoro answers absent-mindedly. 

He still can’t wrap his head around the admiral thing.  _ What changed? Fuck _ , he hates this. He should know the crew, know their strengths and weaknesses, should be able to have their back.. but right now? He can’t even do one of those things.  _ He doesn’t even know who’s in the damn crew.  _

**  
  
  
  
  
**

“Indeed. We were quite lucky, even if stuck in a lull for a few days. It seemed that we catapulted ourselves into an area similar to the Calm Belt.” 

He’s not quite sure what that is, but it sounds self-explanatory enough.

“The Grand Line really is a weird place, huh?” Zoro muses.

**  
  
**

If Robin finally trusts Luffy to handle things, then maybe there’s nothing to worry about. Maybe seeing him fight an admiral for her was enough to get rid of her worries?

But where the hell did she get her sudden confidence from? Zoro still remembers how useless he himself felt against Aokiji. He couldn’t even land a single hit and he doubts Luffy did any better- If their captain hadn’t sent them all away, hadn’t made sure they were safe, each of them would have been frozen solid. Despite knowing that he didn’t stand a chance against an admiral, not yet, at least, Luffy had fought, only to end up as an ice cube.. like their newest crewmember. 

If that bastard Aokiji hadn't been merciful enough to spare Luffy's life- 

Zoro can feel the blood freezing in his veins. _T_ __h_ ey still had to get so much stronger if they wanted to.. survive, essentially.  _

It feels as if the duel between Luffy and the admiral happened only yesterday - but that doesn’t seem quite right. 

_ Had Luffy maybe already trained and adapted? Gotten stronger? Could he already do the impossible?  _

**  
  
**

He  _ definitely  _ needs to catch up. Zoro can’t see himself holding his own against an admiral right now. 

**  
  
**

Robin hums in reply and he tunes back in to listen to her telling him how Luffy had repeatedly demanded that they use their free time to have a second party to make up for their interrupted feast on land - only to be shot down by the cook, who had refused to have a senseless feast in the middle of the sea. 

**  
  
**

Probably a good call. 

It hadn't been that long ago. Zoro still knows what it was like.. floating around aimlessly for days in that joke of a boat with nobody but Luffy and nothing to eat. Rumbling stomaches and a dry throat, for a week straight. Two people could still survive of the occasional fish they managed to catch, but an entire crew? _Unlikely_. 

He just doesn’t get why any of what Robin is talking about is relevant right now. Besides the fact that he does not remember any of it. 

**  
  
  
**

“You think whatever’s going on is because of something that happened on this Zepter-island?”

**  
  
**

“Maybe. We hardly saw you on Zepter.” Robin’s forehead wrinkles. “Of course there was also that storm. It hit us completely unprepared.”

**  
  
  
**

.

.

.

**  
  
  
**

_ “Cyclone ahead!”, Nami shouts.  _

_ He finds himself climbing the ship’s rigging as fast as humanly possible, trying to outrun a storm, trying to be quicker than the blonde blur in the corner of his eye. The wind is starting to pick up, violently tugging at the ropes he’s hanging on to.  _

**  
  
**

_ His hands are burning. Something wet and dark seeps into thick rope.  _

**  
  
**

_ He needs to hurry. Needs to get the job done. _

**  
  
**

_ Someone on deck shrieks.  _

**  
  
**

_ Lightning strikes nearby and everything goes white and numb.  _

_ Zoro slips.  _

**  
  
  
**

He doesn’t hit the floor. Somehow his body knows exactly what that would have felt like, because the non-impact still knocks the air out of his lungs. 

Robin is staring at him expectantly. They’re in the galley and there’s no sign of a storm anywhere to be seen. 

_ What were they doing here again?  _

**  
  
**

_. _

_. _

_. _

**  
  
  
**

_ Oh. Right. Robin had some story to tell him- _

**  
  
**

_ So why is she not saying anything? What is she waiting for? _

**  
  
  
  
**

“So what about that storm?” He doesn’t bother to keep his impatience from dripping into the question. Not just with her, but with the general cloud of _not-knowing_ that seems to be stuck to him.

**  
  
**

Robin’s lips part slightly in surprise. A second later she looks like she’s having an epiphany. 

**  
  
  
**

_ Great, now he’s even more confused.  _

**  
  
  
**

“Did you not hear any of what I said just now?” The archeaolgist asks and Zoro raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. 

**  
  
**

“Worrysome.” She notes quietly and, now louder, says, “Well, I was just saying that Nami-chan had sent Sanji and you into the rigging to reef the sails. The cyclone approached us faster than anyone expected and both of you wound up going overboard.” 

She’s waiting for him to say something, he realizes, when she doesn’t continue her story. Zoro shrugs and shakes his head again. 

**  
  
**

_ He doesn’t remember going overboard.  _

_ Well at least not recently. Luffy knocks him into the sea plenty.  _

**  
  
  
**

“We went looking for you as soon as we could, but unfortunately we had our hands full with the storm for a while. Nami looked absolutely devastated and did her best to determine where all kinds of different currents could have taken you, assuming both of you had managed to not be drowned by the waves, eaten by a sea king or killed by lightning. To be frank, your odds of survival were.. slim, at best.”

**  
  
**

Zoro’s attempts to make sense of what Robin is telling him are unsuccessful.  _ Wouldn’t he remember something like that? Then again, he also thought he’d never forget one of his nakama, apparently.. so, maybe not.  _

It’s just  _ weird  _ to hear a story about yourself that you cannot, no matter how hard you try, imagine  _ actually  _ happening to you.  _ How the hell would he have survived overboard in a storm like that? He’s a good swimmer, but he can’t perform miracles. Maybe they got lucky and someone fished them out of the water-  _

He might ask the cook about that later. After his headache fades a little.

**  
  
  
  
**

“After searching for a couple of days we found you, mostly fine, stranded on an uninhabited island that consisted of nothing but rocks. Sanji seemed a bit  distraught , but things went back to normal quickly. A bit too much so, perhaps.” Robin takes a sip from the sake. “Two days later, cook-san was the first to ask me to keep an eye on you.”

**  
  
**

Zoro’s headache has definitely worsened by now.  _ Robin might as well have slammed a 10 ton hammer over his head. _

_ Fucking hell. None of that makes any goddamn sense to him.  _

“I don’t remember any of that.”

Why is everything _ spinning?  _

He barely hears her response over the sound of his own blood pulsing against his skull. 

“..I was afraid so.” 

**  
  
  
  
**

_ Things are happening too much, too fast, too intensely- _

**  
  
**

He takes a couple of big gulps from the sake. The world refuses to stop spinning and Zoro cannot keep up. He is going to be sick. 

**  
  
**

_ It’s too bright, too hot.. There's a loud ringing in his ears. Everything is just too damn much-  _

**  
  
  
  
**

_ Air.  _

**  
  
**

_ He needs some fresh air.  _

**  
  
  
**

_ He needs to be out of this kitchen, right now.  _

**  
  
  
  
**

“Sorry.” Zoro mumbles and stumbles out of the galley, one hand tightly wrapped around the neck of the sake bottle, not sparing another glance back. 

The glaring sun makes him feel even worse in his own skin. He hurries to the railing and hurls the contents of his stomach into the obnoxiously blue sea. Wipes his mouth with his sleeve and breathes heavily. It reeks. 

He spares a split-second to hope that Robin didn’t follow him outside. 

He just needs to be alone right now, needs to lie down for a quick moment, needs to get this under control.  _ He can do this, he can totally do this, just breathe.  _

**  
  
**

The taste of his own bile lingers on his tongue, in his entire mouth.  _ He’s going to be sick again.  _ Zoro coughs faintly red spit into the ocean but thankfully, nothing else comes up.  _ He wants to lie down, he just wants to lie down and sleep this off…  _ but his body won’t stop trembling and his breathing still is nothing more but ragged panting for fresh air.  _ He can’t walk around like this. Not that he thinks his legs would carry him, anyways.  _

**  
  
  
**

He lifts the bottle to his lips with shaky hands and drinks. The sake doesn’t do enough to properly mask the foul aftertaste, but it relaxes him and smooths over the faint ache in his throat. 

**  
  
**

_ He feels like shit.  _

**  
  
**

_ He just needs to sleep a bit, he can totally sleep this off. He’ll tell Chopper about this as soon as he can, but he really needs to lay down and sleep now or he’s going to puke again.  _

**  
  
**

  
Zoro takes a smaller gulp of sake, gargles briefly and spits it into the sea below him.  _ What a waste. At least it helped a little bit.  _

**  
  
  
**

Staggering like a drunk, he makes his way over to Sunny’s crow’s nest.  _ He’ll nap there, uninterrupted and alone for once. _

His hands are hurting as he climbs up, but he pays them no mind. There’s a goal to accomplish, something to focus on, until he can finally curl up and pass out-

****  
  


Zoro pushes the door open.  _ Nobody’s here.  _ Relief washes over him and his exhaustion suddenly triples.

_ When he wakes up, things are going to be different,  _ he hopes, letting his body flop onto the bench. He pulls one of his towels over his upper body and falls into a deep, restless sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to be different- 
> 
> -maybe not in the way Zoro hoped, though.


	16. reset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are different when Zoro wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, beloved readers! <3 
> 
> As always thank you so much for your lovely reviews, kudos etc.! I've been looking forward to posting this chapter and I hope you like it! It's a bit different, I think, so yeah, let me know what you think :) 
> 
> Also: Due to several projects due in the next couple of weeks this will be the last regular chapter for a while :/ this is not a hiatus tho, don't worry, the next chapter is already as good as done, I just need to focus on my deadlines lol 
> 
> (the next chapter can be expected in about a month!) 
> 
> Until then, stay cool and see ya soon :)

A loud, creaking noise startles him awake. He rips his eyes open and-

  
  


_Wait. Something’s not right._

  
  


_Where is he?_

  
  


The room is almost as big as their entire deck. It has a very high ceiling, wooden floors and plenty of windows through which nothing but the deep blue sea and endless skies can be seen. 

The floor beneath him sways gently as Zoro jumps to his feet. _This isn’t his_ _ship._

  
  


_If this isn’t-_

  
  


_Then whose ship is this? How did he get here? And where is his crew-?_

  
  


Zoro ignores the steadily rising adrenaline piling up in his body and focuses on sharpening his senses. Stretches his fingers, too, just in case. Better to be prepared, he might be on enemy territory here after all. 

Wado’s presence comforts him. Kitetsu’s ever growing anger edges him on and Yuba- 

  
  


_Wait. That’s not Yubashiri._

The third katana around his hip feels.. _unfamiliar_. 

  
  


Zoro frowns and glances down. 

  
  


There’s a black sheath next to Wado’s white and Kitetsu’s red ones. Casually hooked into his haramaki as if it’s always been there, as if Yubashiri didn’t exist. 

_Where the hell is his sword? And where did that new blade come from?_

  
  


Something’s definitely off with that katana. It’s unlike his others. _It’s.. older?_ Heavier, too. 

  
  
  


Zoro reaches for the nameless blade. His hand clasps shut a moment too early, just barely grazing the sword’s hilt. He quickly feels his way forward until he can finally wrap his fingers around it. Unsheathes it in one fluid motion.

The sword is humming with power and grace. It’s even heavier in his arm than he expected, but the katana’s black blade is enchanting. _Quite a rarity-_

_Whoever this sword belongs to - correction: belonged to, because there is no way he’s giving it back - truly must be a master swordsman._

  
  


A wave of disappointment radiates from the sword. 

  
  


Zoro raises an eyebrow in surprise. He usually doesn’t _feel_ much from his other katana, except Kitetsu’s overwhelming bloodthirst and Wado’s faint but steady warmth. His sensei had once told him that proficient swordsmen were able to connect with their blades on a deeper level, as though their weapons were part of them, but he hadn’t reached that level yet- 

  
  


_Was this what sensei had been talking about? But this katana wasn’t even his-_

  
  


Three swords sigh in unison. 

  
  


Irritated, Zoro re-sheathes the strange blade. 

  
  
  
  
  


Another creaking noise interrupts his train of thought and reminds him why he was woken up in the first place. Zoro quickly turns his head to check whether he needs to draw that black blade again, only to see Sanji already halfway through a hatch in the floor, carrying a plate of food and a water bottle in one hand. 

_Oh. Just him._

_Too bad, he would have loved to take his newest weapon for a spin._

  
  


_“Oi,_ a little help, marimo?” The cook bitches and points towards the hatch, which he is holding open with his other hand.

  
  


Zoro doesn’t reply. Just stares. 

  
  


_Where are they? And why does the cook act like-_

_Not to mention, Sanji looks.. Sanji looks- weird. Did he use too much gel on his hair again?_

  
  


“You’re unbelievable-” The cook curses and pushes the.. trap door.. open with his shoulder. “Will you at least say something when I’m talking to you?”

  
  


“ _Beard ._ You have a beard.” Zoro states, answering his own, silent question.

  
  


_Sanji does have a beard. If you could even call it that, but eh, let’s be generous. Did he grow that overnight? Kinda makes him look older, broader._

  
  


The cook sends a disbelieving glare his way. “You mossbrained ass. I really don’t have the nerves to deal with that shit right now.”

  
  


“Whatever, curly. Your hair’s weird, too.” 

  
  


“Um, _excuse me-!?_ ” 

  
  


“Didn’t know you hid a second eye beneath all that hair.”

  
  


“ _Ha fucking ha ,_ very creative, jackass. You jealous or something?” 

Ignoring the insult, Zoro furrows his brows. “That doesn’t even make any sense, shit cook.”

  
  


“I swear you’re as dumb as a slice of bread.” The cook sighs dramatically. “ _Your_ eye, mossy.”

  
  


“What eye?” Zoro blinks. _Jeez, this is why Sanji’s comebacks suck._

  
  
  


“Maybe hitting you with split head’s noro noro no beam would actually make you _less_ slow on the uptake.”

  
  


_Again.. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? An effective insult isn’t built on flowery words, it’s direct. If you need to explain it, you fucked it up. Dumbass._

“Oh, _shut it_.”

  
  
  


The cook wordlessly sets the tray of food down, approaches him and proceeds to almost poke out Zoro’s left eye. With a surprised noise, Zoro instinctively tries to close his left eye. 

“What’s _wrong_ with you, pervert?”

He squeezes his eye shut again, but nothing changes so he quickly steps back to avoid the cook’s stabby finger. 

  
  


Carefully runs his own fingers over his face. 

  
  


And freezes.

  
  
  
  
  


His left side is scarred. Badly. 

  
  
  


A long, deep cut runs from his cheekbone to his eyebrow. Over his eye. 

  
  


_He can’t open it, why can’t he open it-? He doesn’t remember getting attacked-_

  
  
  


“Oi, what’s wrong, marimo?”

  
  
  


The words barely register. His hand is still covering his scarred eye. 

  
  


His left eye is useless. _He’s fucking half blind and he has no fucking clue why. How is he supposed to fight like this?_ His depth perception is ruined, essentially. Maybe he can get used to this, but now he has a blindspot and as far as he knows there’s no technique to counter a loss like this-

  
  


If he doesn’t get used to this fast he’ll fall victim to some third-rate swordsman- 

  
  


_No, no. He’ll figure something out. He could make do without his feet, without an arm and he can still fight with only one eye.. At least he still has the other one, right?_

  
  


_Still, how could this happen? You don’t just lose an entire goddamn eye over night.._

_Did someone attack him in his sleep? Drug and kidnap them both? What the hell is going on and why the fuck is Sanji acting so casual about this?_

  
  
  


“Oi, mossy-” 

  
  
  


Is this even Sanji? It sounds like him, it looks like him- but the guy _feels_ different from the cook he remembers.. from the guy he had just seen yesterday. _Older. More tense._ Something about him just feels wrong, out of place. He can’t read the man in front of him. It’s almost as if this man was trying to guard himself, trying to keep something from Zoro- 

  
  


Doubt creeps into the swordsman’s mind. _Is this really Sanji? Or just a copycat?_

The cook would have kicked his ass if he missed a meal, not brought it up to him. Whoever this man is, he got a lot of details wrong. _Sanji doesn’t wear his hair on this side, either._

  
  


_Maybe this is Mister Two’s doing? But the guy makes accurate copies-_

_Somebody else perhaps? A double ganger? Or some devil’s fruit user?_

  
  


Zoro glares at Fake-Sanji. _He’s not sure why they’ve taken him from his ship. Or why they’ve chosen someone who looks like the shit cook to make him drop his guard._

_Odd choice, but whatever._ He’ll play along for a while.

  
  
  
  
  


“-oro? Oi, Zoro!” 

  
  


_Fucking amateur._ _The real cook usually doesn’t call him by his name. And he doesn’t sound.. worried or whatever the hell this is supposed to be._

_Really, there’s no way this guy is the real deal._

  
  


Zoro feels his anger rise. _They must think he’s stupid._

Having already forgotten about his plan to play along, Zoro snarls, “What the hell do you want from me?” 

  
  


The fake cook looks at him in a combination of barely concealed fury and confusion. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  
  


“Don’t even try. What did you do to me?”

  
  


“I didn’t do shit-”

  
  


“Like hell you didn’t! What happened to my eye? Where are we?” 

  
  


“Wha-?” Fake-Sanji pauses. “Oh. _Shit_.” 

  
  
  


“Spit it out already! What’s going on? Where is my crew?” 

  
  
  


“Do you not know me anymore?” The guy pretends to be slightly upset, which only fuels Zoro’s fury further. _He knows damn well who the man is trying to be._ He won’t be fooled, though. 

  
  


Zoro draws Wado. “Enough chit chat. I have a ship to get back to.”

  
  


The faker shows him his empty palms, attempting to deescalate the situation. “Listen, Zoro, I’m not sure what you think is happening but-”

  
  


_What a dumb gesture, the cook doesn’t fight with his hands anyways-_

  
  


“You’re not him.” Zoro growls.

“ _What-_ _Who_? Should I get Luffy?”

“Don’t drag my captain into this, _faker ._ ” 

  
Fake-Sanji looks at him in bewilderment. “Uh. What?”

  
  
  


Zoro draws another sword - the new one - and points it at the copy cat. “Don’t play dumb. You’re not my cook. Where is the real-”

  
  


“It’s _me_ , dumbass!” 

  
  


“Nice try.” 

  
  


The faker groans in frustration. 

  
  


Zoro aims for his opponents throat. The blonde effortlessly dodges before Zoro even strikes. 

  
  


_How-?_

  
  


The swordsman slashes again, more furiously, but his attacks always fall too short. Other times, it appears the faker just _materializes_ somewhere in his blind spot to block attacks that Zoro barely even considered. 

He has to twist and tilt his head constantly just to see his surroundings and his enemy’s movements. 

  
  


Zoro pants. He can barely hold his own and that bastard isn’t even fighting back. _How dare he-_

  
  


Another slash misses. 

  
  


“Listen, it’s me!” 

  
  


The foot that stops Wado is almost too quick for Zoro’s eyes to follow along. 

  
  


“Then prove it and fight me!”

  
  


_This guy doesn’t know the cook’s fighting style, he’s sure of it. It’s just a cheap ruse, some damn lookalike, trying to get Zoro to lower his guard. He won’t fall for it, no way._

  
  
  


“No! You’re obviously not in your right mind. Chopper’s gonna kick my ass if I make this worse-”

  
  


“Fucking liar!”

  
  


Zoro manages to land a hit right across the faker’s stomach. The fabric of the suit he’s wearing tears, but the attack doesn’t draw blood, doesn’t even pierce the shithead’s skin- 

  
  


He freezes for a second. “Another damn devil’s fruit user, huh-”

  
  


_The cook definitely doesn’t have one._

  
  
  


“No. Haki. Not a great sign that you can’t do that anymore.” 

Fake-Sanji looks like he’s about to say something else, but the swordsman is already back on the offensive, cutting and slashing vigorously, anything to even out this fight. But the impostor just jumps back slightly or barely moves to the side, mocking Zoro’s desperation. 

  
  


_This isn’t fucking fair, he’s supposed to be better than this, this fucker isn’t even trying at all-_

_Maybe if he at least still had his other eye.._

  
  


_No, no, stop thinking like that._

  
  
  


_Breathe._

  
  
  


_Focus on what you need to cut._

  
  
  
  


“Would you just listen to me?? I really don’t want to give you any lasting damage since you can’t even block properly-!” 

  
  


Zoro grits his teeth together and unsheathes Kitetsu. Places Wado in his mouth. 

Kitetsu rages in his grip, yearns to spill fresh blood. It knows where to cut, wants to cut on its own accord, and since Zoro is still too slow with just one eye.. Maybe he needs to loosen his grip on Kitetsu’s reins. 

He’s not entirely comfortable with that thought - Kitetsu is definitely going to take advantage of this - but there’s no way he can beat this faker if he doesn’t at least _try_ everything. 

  
  


_Who knows where his crew could be by now? They could be fighting for their lives, they could be needing him by their side-_

  
  


_It’ll be fine. If this is what needs to be done to win this fight-_

_Kitetsu is a sword, curse or not, and Zoro is the swordsman. He’s in control, not the other way around._

  
  


Zoro exhales and lets his demon sword unleash itself. That damned sword wants to cut him the minute he does so but it won’t get to. He’ll just have to redirect its bloodthirst to that faker before Kitetsu gets the chance to slice its master up. 

  
  


The blade immediately throws itself at Not-Sanji. Tugs at Zoro’s hand, moves faster than Wado or any other katana possibly could. 

  
  


His opponent still dodges with ease, but appears a whole lot more annoyed by his attacks. _Good, at least something._ Zoro smiles grimly.

  
  


“ _For the last fucking time:_ It’s me, marimo! Cut it out!!”

  
  
  


"Don't call me that!"

Kitetsu almost forces his arm to strike faster, harder. A blonde strand of hair falls to the floor. 

_Finally._

  
  


“That’s _it_.” The faker growls and raises his leg. “Guess I’ll be making some cotton candy later.”

  
  


The blonde strikes. Zoro blocks, but the sheer force of the attack knocks him to the floor, his swords knocked across the room. 

He stares, puzzled. _Thats the cook’s style, alright._

  
  
  


_Doesn’t have to mean anything, does it?_

  
  
  


Before Zoro can get up and dive for his katana, the fake cook is standing above him, leg readied to kick his teeth in. “You better listen. It’s me, _asshole_.” 

  
The atmosphere slowly begins to shift.   
  


_...It can’t be, can it?_

_How is the cook that much stronger than him? Why does he look different? And what-_

  
  
  


“What happened to my eye?” Zoro asks, defiantly staring _Maybe-_ Sanji down despite his unfortunate position. 

  
  


“You never told me.” The blonde sighs, still wary of his opponent. “Maybe Luffy knows. You said you wanted to go see the crew? I’ll take you. Just.. don’t attack anyone, alright?” 

  
  


The swordsman slightly relaxes. “They’re all here?” 

  
  


Probably-Sanji nods and steps away from him. 

“We should get you to Chopper.” 

  
  


_What? No, he’s fine. Sure, he’s missing an eye but he’s fine-_

_He doesn't need to see a doctor._

Zoro wants to protest but the cook sounds.. tired. There’s something different about the look in his eye that makes him look ten years older all of a sudden. 

  
  


_Okay._ There’s nothing for Chopper to treat - the scar seems to have long healed - but maybe there’ll be answers. _Hell, he needs them._

  
  


The cook extends his arm, wordlessly offering to help him up.

_It’s not like he needs the help, but Sanji knows that. It’s a peace offering._ One that Zoro would gladly accept.. but he can’t. Not for now, at least. 

  
  


_It just doesn’t feel right._

_  
_ _He knows the man in front of him is the shitty cook, most likely- who else kicks like that? - but he just can’t completely banish the doubt from his mind yet._

_Something’s not right. Something’s not adding up._

  
  
  


When Zoro neither accepts Sanji’s help nor slaps his hand away, the cook raises an eyebrow and reaches for his cigarettes. 

“This is so fucked.” Sanji says with a bitter voice, more to himself than to anyone else and lights his cigarette. 

  
  


The swordsman pushes himself off the ground. “You're telling me.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Zoro "meets" the crew.


	17. merry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro runs into the crew, unknowingly disses Usopp, gets (some) explanations and hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry -belated- christmas (if you celebrate), happy holidays and happy new year to all my dear readers! <3 
> 
> I honestly didn't think I'd be able to upload this chapter before January but I'm stuck in quarantine, so enjoy :) I'm supposed to hand in a short story by tomorrow though, rip, why am I writing fan fic instead. 
> 
> Anyways, this chapter sets us back on track with what the crew's been up to while Zoro's brain.. did all that?   
> (also it's basically angst free for my standards. A truly.. merry.. chapter if you will. 👀)
> 
> As always: I appreciate feedback! Your comments really make my day!

He’s still standing next to the hatch, umoving. 

Zoro wants to see his friends - correction: needs to see them, needs to make sure everybody’s actually here, actually real, actually them - but he can’t help but worry about what he’ll find. 

  
  


_ What if they’re all different?  _

  
  


Of course it doesn’t matter what they might look like, Sanji is still Sanji even if he’s sporting a dumb goatee and it’s really not about that- 

  
  


_ It’s just- What if-?  _

  
  


Maybe he won’t fit with them anymore.

He can’t keep up anymore, not with Sanji and, no doubt about it, not with Luffy either. 

  
  


_ This- All of this feels wrong.  _

  
  


Zoro’s never felt like the odd one out before in their tiny pirate crew. He likes his peace and quiet, likes to be alone next to them but right now they feel.. out of reach. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t even begin to fathom what the crew really looks like, what they’re supposed to feel like- 

The thought leaves him spinning. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The cook seems to pick up on Zoro’s hesitation. “Look, if you need some time to process things, that’s fine. Just don’t strain your brain. And eat something, for fucks sake.”

The swordsman follows Sanji’s gaze to the long-stretched benches where a bento pack and a bottle of water have been carefully placed. 

“I’ll go find Chopper. You stay here.” Sanji says and disappears below the hatch.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Climbing down the ladder takes Zoro longer than expected. He isn’t familiar with the swaying of the rigging and he misjudges the distance between the ropes and his feet more often than he’d care to admit but it works, somehow. 

He lets out an exasperated sigh by the time he makes it down to the strange ship’s deck. It’s bigger and sturdier than theirs; more colorful, too. Its figurehead resembles a huge sunflower from afar. The ship even has a lawn and a tree, swing included. 

From where Zoro’s standing he’s able to see more trees, planted at another, higher located deck. Fruit trees. This has to be the first ship - other than theirs - that has actual fruit trees. Nami’d probably love this. On second glance those trees do look very similar to their navigator’s mikans. 

_ Huh, what are the odds of that? _

Speaking of, Nami’s probably around somewhere, too. He doubts the cook would go anywhere without her. 

  
  


_ What are they doing here, anyways? And where is their ship? _

  
  


Whoever this ship belongs to seems to really like plants. These nerds probably named themselves after some dumb plant pun. 

  
  
  


Zoro’s about to scout out the ship when a muscular man carrying a watering can emerges from a nearby door. Dark curls poke out beneath a plant-themed hat.  _ Ah, one of the nerds.  _

The man waves at him excitedly and walks towards Zoro who freezes when he meets the other’s eyes.  _ Holy shit- No fucking way. That’s one of his nerds.  _

  
  


He’d recognize that long-nosed bastard anywhere. That’s Usopp, no doubt. A better, stronger version of himself, judging by the self-assured way he carries himself, but still Usopp. 

_ When did Usopp get so fucking ripped? _

Not even the baggy overall his crewmate’s wearing hides Usopp’s muscle mass - and shit, that’s something he never expected to think about. 

  
  


_ Wait- Can Usopp beat him now, too? _

  
  


_ Did everyone outgrow him? _

  
  
  


It’s probably written all over his face, or maybe this new Usopp has just gotten better at reading people, because every last bit of joy fades from Usopp’s face.

  
  


“Hey, man- What’s up?”

  
  


Zoro fiddles with Wado’s hilt. “You look.. different.”

  
  


“Oh, uh, thanks, I guess? The hat’s new, if that’s what you’re talking about.”

  
  


“Uh, sure.” 

  
  


They fall into awkward silence. Isn’t that something unusual. 

  
  


Zoro contemplates whether or not he should elaborate. The barely concealed curiousity on Usopp’s face encourages him and he decides to fuck it and just ask. 

  
  


“I was just wondering, when you-” He gestures at the sniper’s body. “Since when do you look like.. that? _ ” _

“Ermm.. is that supposed to be a compliment?” 

Zoro knits his brows in confusion and nods slowly.

  
“Oh! Um- Why, thank you! Built like a god, one might say! I actually haven’t properly worked out since I left Boin Archipelago, heh, but being on the Sunny and going on heroic adventures tends to keep one in shape!”

“Boin Archipelago?”

“Oh, you know, a bunch of giant, man-eating plant islands. Heracles used to call it  _ Schlaraffenland,  _ when he was in one of his more.. ironic moods.”

This time Zoro doesn’t even have to ask.

“..Kuma sent me there?” 

  
  
  
  


_ Weak. He’s too weak. He can’t protect any of them.  _

  
  


_ It’s too bright.  _

  
  


_ There’s an uncomfortable pressure on his chest, but he feels light and floaty- _

  
  


_ Someone’s screaming his name. Usopp?  _

  
  


_ “If you were to go on a trip, where would you like to go?” _

  
  
  


The pictures disappear from Zoro’s mind before he can grab on to them, leaving him behind with nothing but a sense of disorientation and irrational fear. And a massive headache. 

He has no desire to find out more about this Kuma-person, so he just nods and tries not to appear affected. Not that he is. 

Better change the topic. 

  
  


“I don’t really understand. Who’s Heracles? And Su-”

Zoro not-quite-flinches as another wave of pain hits and presses one of his hands against his temple. 

Usopp looks him over with far more concern than Zoro deems appropriate for some stupid headache. He seems about to jump up and run for Chopper - why is that everybody’s first response? - but Zoro puts his hand up.

“No, no, I’m fine.”

When his crewmate doesn’t seem convinced, Zoro throws him a stern glance. “I’m serious. Don’t treat me like I’m made of fucking glass.” 

  
“I’m not-” Usopp sighs frustrated. “It’s just.. You’ve been having far too many of these headaches and I’m getting really tired of watching you get hurt. It’s okay to accept help, you know? We all care about you. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.” 

  
Zoro’s voice is icy. “Look, I appreciate the sentiment, but I’ve had worse than some silly headache.”   
  


_ When did he have worse..? The Baratie. Mihawk. _

  
  


“If you wanna help, why don’t you stop talking in fucking riddles? Why is everyone so different? And where’s Merry?”

  
  


“Shit-” Usopp’s eyes widen almost comically. “It happened again- I’m sorry, I feel like such an idiot..”

  
  


“For fucks sake,  _ what  _ happened again??” 

  
  
  


“Merry’s gone.” Luffy chimes in somberly. “Do you remember? We had to say goodbye.”

Zoro turns around to look at his captain, not entirely sure how long he’s been standing there. Luffy looks like he wasn’t slept in days, but otherwise still the same. 

“ _ What? _ No! When?”

“After Enies Lobby. Over two years ago.”

“There’s no way-” Zoro stammers. “You’re fucking with me.”   
  


Luffy shakes his head. He seems pretty fucking serious, admittedly. 

  
  


Zoro’s eyes wander to the massive X-shaped scar spreading across his captain’s chest. His heart sinks. 

  
  


_ How-? _

  
  


_ This can’t be real.  _

  
  


_ He can’t have forgotten two entire years of his life-  _

  
  


_ No. No, no, no.  _

_ He was sitting in Merry’s crow’s nest before he woke up on this foreign ship. That was just hours ago, wasn’t it? _

  
  
  


His head feels as though someone’s been using it to knock multiple walls down. 

  
  
  


Unfamiliar footsteps approach the group. 

“We’ve had a similar conversation before, swordsman-san. Do you remember what I told you?”

Zoro squints at the black haired woman. She looks vaguely familiar. Sure, her hair is longer, she’s paler and slimmer but he knows her from somewhere- 

  
  


“What the hell is Miss Sunday doing here!?”

  
  


Isn’t she working with crocodile? She captured them once.. Did she do it again? 

Did she bring them here? Mess with his head? 

  
  


_ No, impossible. She couldn’t get past the Sanji Zoro lost against. (Not that she needed to, she just had to bat her lashes and ask. Dumbass.) _

  
  
  


The deck falls quiet. A shadow briefly flashes over their enemy’s face. 

  
  


Zoro instinctively checks on his crewmates. 

There’s a familiar sense of calmth about Luffy. Like he’s about to have a serious battle. 

Usopp, however, looks distraught. As soon as he realizes he’s being watched, he shoots Zoro a pained smile and sticks his thumbs up. 

  
  


That’s comforting. 

  
  


Maybe he needs to repeat his question. 

  
  


“What’s  _ she  _ doing here?” 

Zoro makes sure to put his entire contempt and mistrust for her in the word; spits it, like it’s poison in his mouth. It has the desired effect. For a second Miss All-Sunday looks like he punched her in the face.  _ Good.  _

  
  


“Zoro-” Luffy begins. His voice is laced with quiet determination. 

  
  
  


“HOW ARE YOU TALKING TO OUR LOVELY ROBIN-CHAN, YOU MANNERLESS FUCKFACE-”

Sanji storms towards them, looking like a literally flaming tomato with a wig. Chopper is running behind the cook, uselessly tugging at his sleeve most likely in an attempt to stop him from murdering Zoro. 

Of course the cook would side with the enemy, she’s a woman after all. And of fucking course he’s on first name basis with her. Sometimes Zoro really wants to cut the damn pervert’s dick off.

“I thought I told you to stay put, you idiot! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Zoro rolls his eyes. “Do I look like your fucking lap dog?”

  
The cook looks like he’s about to shred Zoro to pieces with his hands. 

  
  


“Stop it, Sanji.” The Baroque Works Woman says. “You know it’s not his fault. A reaction like this was to be expected.”

Most of the cook’s anger seems to poof away at her words. Zoro can still see it simmering below the surface, though. He doesn’t care for swallowing his own fury, instead glares openly at the cook and the stranger. 

  
  


Why is she helping him? If she’s trying to gain his trust, it won’t work. 

  
  


Chopper lets go of Sanji’s sleeve. His hat looks different, like he pulled a hood over it, but nothing else about the doctor seems to have changed. 

“Sanji told me what happened.” He sounds professional but his eyes are shimmering and he avoids making eye contact with the swordsman. 

Zoro clenches his fists.  _ Is Chopper really that upset about him fighting the cook earlier?  _

  
  


“We need to get you treated as soon as possible.”

  
“Speaking of..” Nami, who must have appeared while Zoro was busy being yelled at by the cook, contributes. “Everyone, I have good news. We should be able to dock in two hours, maybe less, if the wind stays like this.”

Her hair is longer, her face has lost its baby fat and she seems to have had a slight growth spurt.. but that’s Nami. She’s more confident and stronger than he remembers, but she still seems like the same greedy witch - that can’t be good for him.

  
  


Usopp sighs in relief. “About time.”

“Awesome!” Luffy laughs. “We’ll have you fixed in no time, Zoro, you’ll see! I’m going to get you all caught up before we reach land and Chopper can do another excavation before we get going!”

Chopper doesn’t look quite as optimistic, but smiles anyways. 

“That’s really more Robin’s thing.” Usopp adds dryly. ”You mean  _ examination _ .”

“Yup! Exhalation. Robin is the world’s best archeologist, though! She’s amazing!” 

All-Sunday chuckles lightly. 

She isn’t fooling him, though -  Zoro’ll keep an eye on her. She won't get to mess with his crew. 

He wonders why he ever thought he wouldn't fit with them anymore. 


End file.
